Just thinkin'

Today has been one of those days that involves little work and much time to sit and ponder. I was sitting for three of those hours getting my hair cut and colored which typically puts me to sleep as I slowly stop talking and doze off. No fault of my sylist who is truly the best. I was sitting in that chair wondering what my hair looks like underneath all of the color. I have been coloring it since I was about 19 and haven't seen the natural color for too many years to remember. I'll bet there's lots of grey!

How does that happen anyhow? How do I get to be 36 years old sitting pondering some life changing decisions? Where did the twenties go and how can it possibly be only three months until my birthday (AGAIN)? It seems like the sun set last night on my youth, and no matter how hard I try, I can't this much wiser and that young again! I have heard it said that your twenties are a time when you dorkily think you know everything because after all you are an adult; your thirties are the time when you are beginning to figure out how much you don't know; your forties you are figuring out what really matters in life; and by the fifties you are really ready to take life by the horns, but you're a little too fragile to do a lot of the things you wish you had done in your twenties!

Well, I am certainly figuring out how much I don't know. The most daunting fact I don't know is what the future holds. I do know that each small decision I make alters the future ever so slightly. Take for instance the horrible day I had yesterday:

Decision Number One:
Stephanie, Drew, and I went to see Georgia Rules at 10:10AM. Yes, we took the kiddos who are so happy with a bottle of water and a bucket of popcorn. They had great fun and rarely even looked at the screen. The theater was empty except for us. The movie was sad but good. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it, but it would be a good video rental.

Decision Number Two:
Well, because we went to the movies in the morning, we needed to take the cars for oil changes in the afternoon. Drew had to work at 1:30 so Stephanie needed to take his car for him since we basically begged him to go to the movies with us.

Decision Number Three:
So, Steph takes his car. I take mine. We each have a kid with us. We are lazy so we take it to the closest place - a car wash/lube and tune. My car went in the car wash with Steph's cell phone in the cup holder.

Future Slightly Altered:
The car came out minus the phone. For the next two hours we tried to get it back. Steph watched the surveillance cameras. I fought with them stating that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the phone was in my car. We called the phone. Someone turned it off when it began to ring. It was very frustrating, AND I had the kids with me. Who takes the cell phone of a frazzled looking mom of two??? I mean it was obvious that I was not some spoiled rotten little witch driving a car my daddy bought me. I mean for some thieves that is their justification for stealing - for some reason, the owner didn't deserve to own the item in the first place because they are part of the haves.

I was getting so angry as the hour passed by with no phone. The manager said well the only guy who has left is the new kid, and a new employee wouldn't steal something. I was like, "Dude, what do you base that statement on"? So, the new guy who knows that he'll be gone by the time my car is finished, and I realize the phone is gone is not likely the thief. This dude needs to watch more Law and Order or CSI. Criminals can be anyone no just "old" employees!!!!

So, they offered me a free polish valued at $39.99. I asked for a refund. They told me they don't give refunds! Then, out of the corner of my eye I see Stephanie (my baby sis) in her car balling her eyes out. With this, my motherly instincts kicked in and quiet me went ballistic!!!! I didn't even realize I had the ability to go off in such a way. I was like a bear protecting her cub. And, without going into detail suffice it to say, I let them have it!

On the way home, I began to think about the entire incident. I wondered where such vile feelings came from. I wondered who the heck I really was if I could grow so enraged. I am generally such a push over and hate conflict. I prayed and asked God to help me grow from the situation and to help me to understand myself better.

There were no epiphanies, but God did expose me to the fact that my motherly instinct runs deep. My younger siblings are MUCH younger and are my "first kids." I am ultra protective of them, and evidentally will go to any length to protect them. When I saw Stephanie balling, that caused something to click in me. I will need to temper this side of me with logic when I feel the claws coming out. Whew, I am so glad that is over but certainly glad I could learn something from it. I think that even if we make some decisions that alter our futures in a way that may cause pain, God always gives us opportunity to learn and grow. This is what makes our lives unique and what gives us the ability to testify of His greatness in our lives.

And answers for those who like to ask questions:

No, her phone did not have insurance.
Yes, she did suspend service.
Yes, I called the police.
No, I did not expect them to replace the phone.
Yes, I will replace the phone tomorrow.
Yes, the phone had pictures, videos, and phone numbers that cannot be replaced.
And, last but not least, this big sis feels horrible about unknowingly leaving the phone in my car for a five minute carwash.

Oh, and Zack and Sophia knew Stephanie's phone had been stolen and were kissing all over her being very nurturing while asking for "Chicken Bricken" - Chicken Nuggets!