Happy Memorial Day!

Well, I have decided that the next best thing to having family leave is getting a day off for a holiday soon after!!! I am so excited to have Monday off with the kiddos! Gina was kind enough to take a couple of pics with me in them today! I have made some final decisions regarding the pics for their "announcement" cards, and I will be sending them out next week some time. If you would like one let me know! If I work with you, I'll deliver it. If I don't know your address, feel free to send it to me via email at dmrgirl85@yahoo, and I'll happily send you one so you can have it as a reminder of the miracles God does when we are willing to step out in faith.

I have thought much about the "stepping out in faith" part of adopting Zack and Sophia. Sometimes when I look at it all on paper, it seems like an insane venture. I wonder how I got through all of the paperwork and "Russian hoops." I wonder how God will pave the path ahead of us. I wonder where He'll lead us, and how He'll care for us. Faith is a cool thing. It is so invisible yet made up of so many tangible pieces.

When I look into Zack and Sophia's eyes and see them smiling from their very souls, I am reminded of the burden of emptiness they carried when I first met them. I am often reminded of the blank stare Sophia had. She seemed so void of feeling - so afraid to smile. And, Zack eager to see me but clearly so apprehensive filled with the fear that I wouldn't return for him. Now, those fears are gone and that burden has been lifted. They can smile instead of carrying the weight of the world.

As I seek to carry that weight for them, I covet your prayers. I want to be the best mom I can be. I want to give them a well rounded upbringing. I want them to love with all of their hearts and to live for Christ and as a byproduct experience true joy.

I have never before noticed how much marketing is geared towards children! Within two weeks, my kids knew Sponge Bob, Dora, Shrek, The Incredibles, Spider Man, Superman and Hello Kitty to name a few. I realized this as I would walk through the market, and they would yell out the names of these American characters. They would want the crackers, cookies or cereal just because of the picture. Well, to be fair these pictures are even on yogurt and string cheese now!

This is not a huge issue for me, however, it definitely made me very aware of the influences that creep in unexpected. I'm not one to say no to cartoons or to throw out the television, but I am one who wants my kids not to be controlled by the media.

What brings me joy is not the tube teaching them English. It is the sound of the harmonica Sophia is playing right now. It is the sight of Zack finishing a 300 piece puzzle. It is a colored page; a sand castle built; a splash in the pool; a kiss on the cheek; the hug of an uncle; the snuggle from grandma; the tickle from an auntie. Kids are kids for such a short time. I hope to protect that as much as I can while enabling them to be socially skilled.

Oh, the wonder of it all. I could go on and on today. It is just one of those thinking kind of days.

In the words of Zack and Sophia, "See joo later"!

A Quick Update

Well, I have been back to work for 3 days now - blah! It isn't too bad, but I miss the kids terribly! I knew I'd have to be a working mom so this comes as no surprise to me, and I'm tough enough to handle it for sure especially with my sweet sis/clone at home with the kiddos. She loves them so much and typically makes the same types of decisions I would so it is the next best thing to having momma around.

Today the kids called and were asking to go to the park so I said, "Momma a doma da parrrrrrk," and they got so excited. They knew I would take them when I got home, and I did tired as I was. It was great fun to watch Zack, Sophia, and Josh interact together. Today Sophia played like the BABAYAGA and chased the boys for over an hour! The laughter was so sweet. I wouldn't have wished to have been anywhere but there with them! I'm thinking the park can be the one thing they do just with momma at least while it stays light late. This way we can have a blast together even though I'm working.

Here are a couple of recent pics of Zack and Sophia who are already growing up WAY too fast! Check out Zack's new white smile! He already has had about 12 fillings! His front teeth had a lot of decay and Dr. Nobel fixed him up like new! Dr. Nobel is the best!!!! Funny thing is Zack looks like the dentist!



And, here are a few pics from the park this afternoon:


This week Sophia got her first big boo boo. She lunged forward in the tub and caught the water spout with her little face. As I caught her she, tumbled more due to being all soaped up at the time! YIKES! I felt a feeling I have never felt before! What a huge burden of guilt I carry for not somehow protecting her better. Thanks Rona for talking me down from the ledge! I hope I don't experience this again for a long time. She is healing quite nicely just a raspberry bruise under her eye and a bump on her forhead... My baby...then she went to the zoo with grandma yesterday and fell down on the playground and got a big scab on her elbow! She is accident prone for sure. I am going to be watching her very closely because this little girl is fearless, and that puts the fear in me!

I will try to blog at least three times a week because it is so cool to chronicle this miracle and also because Lauri asked me to blog more! :)

All Good Things Must Come to an End!

Okay, I took my camera to Disneyland this time only to find that the battery was dead!!!! Any of you who know me well know that I carry that HUGE Canon Rebel everywhere with me and have earned the nickname, "Paparazzi"!!!! So when I realized I had a dead battery, I was so disappointed especially since I had forgotten it on the last trip. I remembered Liz Bettisworth being so disappointed that I blogged about Disneyland but had no pics so I broke down and spent $18.50 on a disposable camera. These are some of the pics that I was able to take with the little piece of crud! :) I was surprised!!!!! When you enlarge them, you will notice first the cuteness of the subjects and second the distinct difference in quality of photo. However, I can use the old fashioned film to make copies so that is cool.

I have not sent out announcements yet to my friends and family that live out of state. Do you all think that the first or second pic here would be good? Please leave a comment!!!

Well, I have been in mourning this week! Mourning what you may ask... Mourning my freedom to enjoy life to its fullest with my kiddos! I think I was born to nurture kids, clean house, cook and teach! I absolutely LOVE being home and doing everything one might consider domestic. I have even caught myself watching The View! Yikes! I will withold my opinion of the show as I know I can't be in agreement with all of my readers.

We did go to see Shrek the Third today, and I enjoyed it very much. The kids kept whispering Shrek, Dragon, Donkey... It was very cute.

Wednesday, we went to Disneyland for the final time that I can spend the entire day with them there. Weekends are just too busy! We had a blast once again, and made memories that will last a lifetime. If we ever leave the hustle bustle of California, we will hold these trips to Disneyland close to our hearts. The kids don't say Disneyland. They just say, "Mickey Mouse, Momma."

This trip Zack got to go on Splash Mountain and he loved it even though he and Josh got soaked! We also went on Pirates, and none of the kids were scared this time. I love to see kids conquer fears! Some are terrified of things, and that is an entirely different situation, but mild fears can be conquered pretty easily in these two. They get the benefit of being so proud of themselves.

So, I'm back to work on Monday. I am not happy about it at all, but I must do what I do and will do it with all of my mind, but my heart is now forever at home or at least where the kids are. I'm so glad Stephanie will be with them every hour of every day since I can't be.

I am AMAZED at how much the kids are speaking English. Today, out of the blue, Sophia said to Stephanie, "Pretty Earrings, Stephanie" as she touched Stephanie's earring. Steph and I were amazed! Where did she learn that??????

Sarabi Visits for a Photo Shoot

Okay first of all, this is Anthony my sister Victoria's fiance. They are the owners of Sarabi. Anthony does not allow pics of him, but he was in the background so I cropped and zoomed! He looks like he is taller than a house! He loves animals and is starting a dog breeding business, He wanted Zack and Sophia to pose for photos for his website to show how docile Sarabi is since there are some misconceptions about pit bulls. Zack was a chicken liver, but Sophia LOVES animals and had Sarabi around her little finger which was perfect. It was so much fun to watch Sophia enjoy her fun with Sarabi. Here is the fearless one! But, truly, Sarabi is a very nice dog. I know what fears people hold regarding pit bulls so relax, I watched her VERY closely with Sarabi and both got along smashingly. This dog is so protective of Sophia and quite docile - the perfect balance. Here is the Zackster with Sarabi! This is about as close as Zack would get, and I can't blame him for not being a dog person!

I have some much better pics of Sophia with Sarabi, but I am having some computer issues so will have to try to post them tomorrow.

Mother's Day was a good day. We went to an off the beaten path Mexican restaurant where there was no wait followed by a trip to the batting cages where we all hit a few balls. Then we went to Best Buy to look for Steph's new phone and stopped by the shoe store for a pair of new shoes! After this, we went to the park and topped that off with a jump into the pool where the kids played for hours before a yummy home cooked porterhouse dinner. I LOVE playing with the kids so this was an awesome first Mother's Day for me! I think the kids will look forward to Mother's Day next year too!

This is my last week off of work until Hume Lake on June 23rd. So this week, Disneyland, park, Shrek III, and whatever other fun I can come up with will be on the list of to dos. Zack also has his third dental appointment. He was a trooper last week for six fillings!!!

Just thinkin'

Today has been one of those days that involves little work and much time to sit and ponder. I was sitting for three of those hours getting my hair cut and colored which typically puts me to sleep as I slowly stop talking and doze off. No fault of my sylist who is truly the best. I was sitting in that chair wondering what my hair looks like underneath all of the color. I have been coloring it since I was about 19 and haven't seen the natural color for too many years to remember. I'll bet there's lots of grey!

How does that happen anyhow? How do I get to be 36 years old sitting pondering some life changing decisions? Where did the twenties go and how can it possibly be only three months until my birthday (AGAIN)? It seems like the sun set last night on my youth, and no matter how hard I try, I can't this much wiser and that young again! I have heard it said that your twenties are a time when you dorkily think you know everything because after all you are an adult; your thirties are the time when you are beginning to figure out how much you don't know; your forties you are figuring out what really matters in life; and by the fifties you are really ready to take life by the horns, but you're a little too fragile to do a lot of the things you wish you had done in your twenties!

Well, I am certainly figuring out how much I don't know. The most daunting fact I don't know is what the future holds. I do know that each small decision I make alters the future ever so slightly. Take for instance the horrible day I had yesterday:

Decision Number One:
Stephanie, Drew, and I went to see Georgia Rules at 10:10AM. Yes, we took the kiddos who are so happy with a bottle of water and a bucket of popcorn. They had great fun and rarely even looked at the screen. The theater was empty except for us. The movie was sad but good. I'm not sure if I'd recommend it, but it would be a good video rental.

Decision Number Two:
Well, because we went to the movies in the morning, we needed to take the cars for oil changes in the afternoon. Drew had to work at 1:30 so Stephanie needed to take his car for him since we basically begged him to go to the movies with us.

Decision Number Three:
So, Steph takes his car. I take mine. We each have a kid with us. We are lazy so we take it to the closest place - a car wash/lube and tune. My car went in the car wash with Steph's cell phone in the cup holder.

Future Slightly Altered:
The car came out minus the phone. For the next two hours we tried to get it back. Steph watched the surveillance cameras. I fought with them stating that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that the phone was in my car. We called the phone. Someone turned it off when it began to ring. It was very frustrating, AND I had the kids with me. Who takes the cell phone of a frazzled looking mom of two??? I mean it was obvious that I was not some spoiled rotten little witch driving a car my daddy bought me. I mean for some thieves that is their justification for stealing - for some reason, the owner didn't deserve to own the item in the first place because they are part of the haves.

I was getting so angry as the hour passed by with no phone. The manager said well the only guy who has left is the new kid, and a new employee wouldn't steal something. I was like, "Dude, what do you base that statement on"? So, the new guy who knows that he'll be gone by the time my car is finished, and I realize the phone is gone is not likely the thief. This dude needs to watch more Law and Order or CSI. Criminals can be anyone no just "old" employees!!!!

So, they offered me a free polish valued at $39.99. I asked for a refund. They told me they don't give refunds! Then, out of the corner of my eye I see Stephanie (my baby sis) in her car balling her eyes out. With this, my motherly instincts kicked in and quiet me went ballistic!!!! I didn't even realize I had the ability to go off in such a way. I was like a bear protecting her cub. And, without going into detail suffice it to say, I let them have it!

On the way home, I began to think about the entire incident. I wondered where such vile feelings came from. I wondered who the heck I really was if I could grow so enraged. I am generally such a push over and hate conflict. I prayed and asked God to help me grow from the situation and to help me to understand myself better.

There were no epiphanies, but God did expose me to the fact that my motherly instinct runs deep. My younger siblings are MUCH younger and are my "first kids." I am ultra protective of them, and evidentally will go to any length to protect them. When I saw Stephanie balling, that caused something to click in me. I will need to temper this side of me with logic when I feel the claws coming out. Whew, I am so glad that is over but certainly glad I could learn something from it. I think that even if we make some decisions that alter our futures in a way that may cause pain, God always gives us opportunity to learn and grow. This is what makes our lives unique and what gives us the ability to testify of His greatness in our lives.

And answers for those who like to ask questions:

No, her phone did not have insurance.
Yes, she did suspend service.
Yes, I called the police.
No, I did not expect them to replace the phone.
Yes, I will replace the phone tomorrow.
Yes, the phone had pictures, videos, and phone numbers that cannot be replaced.
And, last but not least, this big sis feels horrible about unknowingly leaving the phone in my car for a five minute carwash.

Oh, and Zack and Sophia knew Stephanie's phone had been stolen and were kissing all over her being very nurturing while asking for "Chicken Bricken" - Chicken Nuggets!

Happy Birthday Kenny!

Yesterday was a special day because it was Kenny's Birthday celebration day (today is his 12th birthday). So, shhhhh, he played hookie, and Drew, Stephanie and I too the kids to Disneyland yesterday to begin celebrating. We had great fun even though it was a scorcher! We were able to get on about six rides in the six hours we were able to stay before rushing home for the big surprise! Fortuntately, none of the kids are the type to throw a fit for having to leave before they are ready! Thank you Jesus for small mercies!

At 6:00PM, we chased down his favorite chili cheese dogs with a jurassic party. This was a blast for him because he LOVES reptiles, and it was also fun to watch Zack and Sophia see and touch these creatures for the first time. This all took place in our family room so it was way easy and super cool for the kids too! Here are some pics that capture the day much better than I can capture it in words:

Here is the crew on the Tea Cups! I am way too dizzy already so I always sit this one out!

Here is the birthday boy, and his little Sophia Joy! He is very good with her!

The boys getting ready for another run on the Buzz Lightyear ride which is a big hit for all ages!Here Zack learns from the professional posers! These are the three new and improved incredible hulks!So, Sophia is still scared of Babuyaga!!!! Look at Kenny's face in this pic! And, yes, Sophia made fun of herself later for crying! LOL

Here is Kenny with a Corn Snake and a bearded dragon!

Here he is with a Python who appears to be sniffing his under arm!

Uncle Jerry holding a TARANTULA!!!

Here is the little fearless one with "Sausage" a mouse eating reptile with a blue tongue! I can't remember what it is!
And, here is brave Josh with "Sausage"!
Today was conquer your fears day for Josh! He was so proud of being brave! Here are the kids with a water monitor named Sally! This thing was huge as you can see, and there is Sophia right at her mouth! Zack would only touch tales and for a short time! He was a scaredy cat!
Look at her face! And, Josh so peacefully cohabitating with a PYTHON! WOW!

So, it was another aweseome day here at 6428. Kids grow up way too fast! It is weird to watch it happen before my eyes!

Next week is my last week off of work and then I return until I find that knight in shining armor who sweeps me off my feet or perhaps just my luck he will be the guy who armor alls my tires in the night and sweeps me off the sheets to come and look!!! LOL

One Month Home!!!

Here are the kiddos with their cousins after one month home!

And, this is how I get them to be still and happy for the "real" pics - the promise of a silly pic when we're done!
In brief, I don't remember what life was like before Zack and Sophia became part of the Rivera bunch! I can't say being a mother has changed me any. I have always been a mother at heart so I haven't missed a beat! Both kids are very happy and very healthy. They both sleep through the night without any problems - no violent rocking of themselves to sleep which is common for some kids coming from an orphanage. Sophia does not like to sleep, and this has been the single challenge I have had since they came home. I have to monitor her closely when she is put to bed. If I can get her to stay on her tummy with her eyes closed for 20 minutes, she is out like a light. If I don't stay close and monitor, she will literally play into the wee hours.

Both kids are speaking many English words! They have even begun to speak to each other in English. The language barrier is not as bad as I had anticipated. It is amazing how quickly they learn and how quickly we have picked up our own sign language! Although, several phrases are well known such as, "take your shoes off," "time for bed," "time to eat," "walk," "smile," "just a minute," etc...

In this month, Zack has had two much needed hair cuts! Sophia has had one haircut, her nails painted, and her ears pierced (thanks Stephanie)! Both have shoes of their own and now know what shoes go with what clothes. For example, flip flops with shorts when going to the store. Zack has one pair of orange Pumas, and if his shirt is orange, he grabs those! It is cute because they are so thrilled to have things of their own. They also take very good care of their things. If they have a jacket and get hot while we are out, they don't forget about the jacket. They are quick to ask for it before we leave or to get it once we get home so that they know it isn't lost.

They share very well. They even share their food and will give away their last Skittle. They get scared on occasion of things like the cat bolting into another room or a roller coaster, but they are eager to see the cat again or jump on the next ride. They are adventure seekers.

They are lovers. They both love to cuddle and smooch. Zack more so when he is tired or when others aren't paying attention. They enjoy their cousins VERY much and play so very nicely with them each day Ken and Josh are here which is most days!

They are wrestlers! They love to wrestle with their Auntie Gina most, but when Uncle Jerry or Momma get down on the floor with them, they go wild! They know that we don't wrestle much! Gina though has become their favorite goof ball, and every kid needs a good goof ball in their lives! Zack and Sophia literally run to the door when they know Auntie Gina is getting home! They are beside themselves wondering what fun will be had as she swings them in the air!

They love watching Dora, Sponge Bob, and Happy Feet! Zack mimics Mumble very well, "LA LA LA LA LA LA"! If you have seen Happy Feet, you know the part and the tune! Sophia likes any toy that makes noise and does NOT play with dolls at all! Zack LOVES Spider Man!

They are schedule followers! I planned on setting a schedule for them while I was off work, but they have done that themselves! Each morning Zack wakes and climbs into bed with Stephanie where he cuddles and watches her sleep before grabbing the remote and watching cartoons as she slowly wakes. It has become a favorite part of his day and gives me great joy since I won't be home to love on him in the mornings. Sophia is slower to wake up, but when she does, she yells GOOD MORNING! Shortly after Sophia wakes this is what we hear, "YUM YUM, MOM?" "YUM YUM, MOM"? "BANANA"? "YUM YUM"? "YUM YUM"? LOL It is so funny!

Some other PAPs out there may wonder about bonding. Have we bonded? Do they know I am their mom? That is a big resounding, YES! Both kids are very well attached and thriving!

These two angels have fit into our family very well, and I as their mom am so proud of them for making such a huge life changing journey with such strength and bravery.

Zack and Sophia,

Some day you'll read this journal of your coming home. May you feel the love that has been bestowed upon you since the first day that the Lord layed it on my heart to adopt you even before knowing you. When I think back to April 2, 2002 and September 29, 2003, I wonder what I was doing when you two were born. I wonder if God put a ringing in my ear or if he caused me to miss a step as you breathed your first breath. I will never know, but what I do know is that you two have changed my life forever, and I hope that I can bring as much joy into your lives as you have brought into mine already even after only one month at home. My cup runneth over...

A great Couple of Days

Well, on Wednesday, Stephanie and I took Zack and Sophia to Disneyland for their second time. It was a blast especially because there were NO LINES! Sophia even went on The Matterhorn!!! She seemed a little scared on the ride, but when we got off she was so excited!!! She was talking a mile a minute and telling us excitedly about the ride! She was big stuff!

We went on The Haunted Mansion, Pirates of the Caribbean, The Matterhorn, Tiki Room, Buzz Lightyear, Thunder Mountain (Zack and Steph), Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, Pinnochio, Dumbo, and the Rockets! We did all of that in about 5 hours and an hour of that was spent waiting for and watching the parade! It was an awesome day, and the kids were in heaven.

Zack was afraid on a couple of the rides, but he cried on the ride and then after giggled and said, "Zack Scared Coocala" as he made a crying noise! He was making fun of himself being scared, and then he was like bring on the next ride. I love this in him!!!!!

Sophia was only scared of the Pirates ride when it was dark and the funniest scary part for her was Ursula in the parade! This huge blown up Ursula floating by to The Little Mermaid music sent her into a cry of all cries! Gina says I'm bad, but I said, "Babayaga" as she cried. I was teasing, but only for a short minute and then I showed her how it was fake. Afterwards, we all laughed about it on the way home. Sophia would say, "Babayaga" and then she'd make a crying noise and laugh at herself.

I forgot my camera so no pics of Disneyland this time! BOO HOO!

Today, we hung out around the house, and the kids napped a bit making up for the tiring day at Disneyland. In the afternoon, we went to see some horses at some stables nearby. The kids LOVED them and petted them for a long time. They also learned a new word, "Horse"! I'll post pics tomorrow as time allows.

New things learned today: The kids HATE PB&J. Zack knows the following words well: puzzle, look, I love you, scared, take your shoes off, watch cartoons, Spider Man, Sponge Bob, yum yum, etc... There are a few more. Sophia understands, "Close your eyes, but she does not understand open your eyes yet! :) It is cute! I say, "Close your eyes," and she closes them. Then I say, "Open your eyes," and she opens her mouth! I have to touch her eyelids to get her to open them! She is funny!

Well, tomorrow is a busy day so I better get some shut eye! Both kiddos are snoozing already! :)

Finally an Update

When you see this, we'll be at the dentist for Zack's second visit. He has several cavities to be filled and will likely have about five visits before he is finished having his teeth repaired. I am pleased because his teeth could have been much worse. I am also thanking the good Lord that my dentist is a very generous Christian man who is discounting the work so that I can get it all done quickly. Now, not all Christians are generous so don't misread me, the Christian part is just a side note!

For those wondering, Zack's big surgery should be next Thursday, but I am having some trouble scheduling with his doctor!

Here is a pic of me and Sophia from last Sunday when we went bowling!Here are the star bowlers! Yes, all but Sophia beat me! That's my boy! He's got skill or as Mike would say, "He's a balla"!
Zack must help Steph find her 8 pound ball!

Don't these two look like bro and sis??? Actually, I think Josh would claim Sophia as his sis with no problem! He adores her! Zack still refuses to admit Sophia is his sistra (sister)!

Here is Sophia and HER Uncle Drew! She has him wrapped around her little finger!

And, Sophia gets in on the hanging action! In the background of this pic, you see Jerry, my older bro! We had a great time bowling together! Even though I suck at bowling, it is a cool way to encourage the kids and to spend quality time together.

Well, I hope all is well with all of the blog readers out there! Friday, makes one month that Zack and Sophia have been HOME!!!! Look for a special posting Saturday!

You know this staying home thing is a TON of work! The days FLY by and there is still so much to do and so much more I could do with the kids! It is crazy, but I sure do know where my heart is!