Time for some Testosterone!

I thought I'd spare you of the pics of Josh in the tub - or is that I'd spare him???? The boys are all doing super well and having lots of fun! Reports cards came in, and grades are good! Kenny finished first semester with 4 As, 4 Bs and one high C. That is SO AWESOME! This has been an incredible year for him!

School comes naturally to Josh. He is an excellent reader and learns very quickly!

Zack is doing well, but is not doing as well as I'd hoped he would do. He can count to 100 but can only write 1-16. He should be able to write to 100. sigh Grandma is going to spend some one on one time with him in the next three weeks so we'll see if she can work some magic. I am not all that worried about him as he is very bright. He asks tons of questions and is a thinker for sure. I sincerely think the disconnect has to do with language acquisition.

Borrowed Wishes

We had a nice lunch today at a place where Sophia could spend time playing in a "wishing well"! Her wishes were borrowed though because I had no coins. She quickly figured out she could borrow some coins by rolling up her sleeves. She'd fish out the coins and throw them right back into the water! She would even come back to the table between each throw to dry her wet hands! She is so funny about the whole cleanliness thing!

Good times!

Sophia and Auntie "Juanda" or "Rhonda" or once in a while Wanda have great fun together!

My little girl is getting way too big way too fast! A lady in the grocery store said, "She has such a cute voice." Somehow that made me melancholy. I started realizing that I am going to miss her little voice one day. I ask Sophia to stay small but to no avail. She gives me a long list of reasons that she needs to get big - roller coasters, boyfriends, cars, a job, money... Boy, she's a thinker.

In a few short weeks, she'll be in preschool. I am treasuring every moment I have with her at home. I can't wait until summer is here, and summer fun can begin!

A Day in the Park

Questions?

Life is full of questions isn't it? I think it is an appropriate time to list one of my personal blog rules:

I will not post any information regarding where Zack, Sophia and I are living now or at any point going forward. It just isn't safe. Pretty much if you are in my inner circle, you already know. Assume the opposite. If you don't know where exactly we live, worship, work, go to school, kindly refrain from asking me or anyone in my inner circle. It just isn't information that needs to be given out. It is not my goal to enable people to virtually stalk me or my kidlets nor is it my goal to be rude by suggesting such a thing. I just have a new appreciation for the benefits and safety found in privacy.

Krista, emal me - dmrgirl85@yahoo.com

I would love to catch up on how your student teaching went or is going! I would also love to let you know about my new teaching assignment!

Another blog later...

Short Post

Just wanted to let you all know we are still alive!!!

Auntie Gina: Holy Mackerole (sp?)
Sophia: Ya, Holy Mac and Cheese!

Zack: Where are we going?
Zack: And after that?
Zack: And what about after that?

Today Sophia pointed out A, S, T, J, and M. She knew their names and sounds... She picked this learning up from Leapster Videos.

She has also been trying to hop on one leg and finally has it down.

Zack can now count past 44! He continues to read one syllable words but won't read them for his teacher! I told him today, I love you so much I could cry. He said, how long will you cry? For an hour????? He is a crazy boy, and I love him.

All else is well, and things are looking super good for Sophia to go to preschool where I teach! I can't tell you how EXCITED I am to get to teach again!!!! I have to tell you though that if I had it my way, I'd have a great big house and a great big bank account so I could give many more kids a home!

I can only say that there is no feeling like holding a beautiful sleeping child and wondering where she'd be this moment if life's little choices hadn't led me to her.

All About Sophia

Sophia has a Gameboy with one game - Teen Titans! She used to just turn it on fiddle for about three minutes and then turn it off and put it away. It just made her feel like she was "one of the boys" since they have DS handheld video games that they like to play.


NOW, she actually knows how to play! She can't do all of the special moves, but she can play dog gone it!!!! Sheesh!


Yesterday, Sophia and I worked on counting to five. We first started counting various objects in the room. One, two, three, four, five... She would repeat after me, and we'd count and count and count. We ended up counting cookies which she loved.


After working on counting to five for about 30 minutes in various ways, Sophia just couldn't remember anything past two. She'd say one very slowly and then two, and then she'd poop out on me with a forlorn look. I have to admit that it worries me just a little. What I must remember though is that she has only been here for 10 months. Simply acquiring the language as well as she has is incredible. However, I do wonder if the blank stare will dissipate with age or if she is going to struggle learning.


I am debating putting her in kindergarten this next school year. She, in many ways, is still a year behind other kids her age. This is to be expected due to the time she spent in the orphanage. I am not sure she is ready for school, but there are still seven months to make that decision.


Sophia has such a magnetic personality. She is the life of the party. She sings incessantly - "You want thingamabobs"? "I've got plenty, but who cares no big deal." "I want more." Do you recognize that song? She also sings, "So you had a bad day..." These are just a couple of the songs! I take the singing as a sign that she's happy!


She loves to color and dress up in her costumes. She especially likes to hide from people and hear them looking for her throughout the house! She does the typical hiding her eyes so that none of us will see her too!

She loves to act like she is a cat or a puppy. She watches cartoons and says, "I'm her mom"!!! She'll say, "I'm the red one, and you are the blue." "Oh ya, I am winning." She is very good at using her imagination. She also plays well with others. The only thing I notice is that she is a bit touchy as in she likes to direct other kids, and if they don't heed to her spoken word, she'll likely lightly touch their shoulders or turn their little face towards her so they'll listen! She is driven for sure.

She enjoys helping VERY MUCH! If I am cleaning, she wants to clean too. When I do the laundry, she helps. She even asks to walk the stacks of clothes upstairs to put them away. Once in a while, she'll come back down and say, "They got crumply, but I fixed 'em"!

Which brings me to the next wonderful thing that makes Sophia, Sophia - she is very neat and clean. She has to have a napkin whenever she eats, and she actually uses it. She cleans her mess off of the table when she is finished. She "makes" her bed each morning. She is quick to pick up any mess lying around the house. I wouldn't say she is OCD. She just notices messes, but she'd leave a mess if she were on her way to a bowl of popcorn or candy!

I have enjoyed the time I have been able to be with her. We have bonded in a huge way and that has been priceless! Soon I'll return to work, and I am gonna miss her so much throughout the day! Chances are that she'll be at a preschool on the campus where I'm teaching so that could be VERY nice! What could be better? I'm praying that it all falls into place seemlessly.

And, for the record, Sophia talked to Auntie Gina about 3 hours after our lesson on numbers, and she said, "Listen Gina, one, two, three, four, five"!!! Go figure! The girl retained how to count to five! I happily presented her with five animal cookies!

Haircuts Had to Happen!

We made it as long as we could without haircuts!!! I just couldn't take the messy look any longer! So, chop, chop, chop...the hair is short again!

Any mom's out there wish that girls' hair was as easy as boys' hair! I would love to just comb Sophia's hair and send her on her way, but she looks like a mess if I do that! I've thought about getting her hair cut into the Dorothy Hammil (sp?) style - someone stop me!!!! Getting her pony tails straight is taking me way too long! She's an angel though and happily sits there patiently after which she'll say, "Is it too high"? "You can do it again if you need to, mom"!!!

Good thing she is a little glam or she'd be going crazy waiting for me to get her hair right! This pic is back in the day when Auntie Steph did Sophia's hair perfectly!

And, here a hairdo by mama!!!!! We actually had a little girl's night fun! Sophia wanted me to make her hair "funky"!!!

Rainy Days are Fun!!!

Post Placement Report #2 Checked off our List!

As many of you know, there are four post placement reports that must be written after an adoption from Russia. These reports are created by an adoption agency here in the US and submitted to the Ministry of Education in Russia. For some, it may seem a little invasive or scary, but it isn't scary in the least. I will say, however, that leading up to the visit from the social worker, one does feel that it is a little invasive. But, the two post placement visits I've had have been so enjoyable that it is surprising to think that I'll be nervous a year from now when the next one is due. But alas, I know myself well.

For those wondering why the reports are necessary, it is mainly to give the Russia Government some sense of knowing that "their" kids are not being abused or harmed. There have been a couple handfuls of cases over the past decade in which Russian kids have been abused and or killed by American adoptive parents. It is so very sad and so rare but a worry none the less. The post placement reports give the Russian gov't some way of tracking the safety of their kids. You may find this, as do I, ironic since the parental care offered to so many kids in their country is so poor, but perhaps abusing or neglecting ones' biological kids is not as bad as an adoptive parent from another country abusing or neglecting them. I see an area in which a dire form of reform is needed. Perhaps they need a village - let's send Hillary over there!!!! Perhaps when her campaign is over, she'll have some time on her hands.

Back to my post placement visit... My Social Worker is the BEST! She is like part of the family really. I met her first for my homestudy about 8 months before I brought Zack and Sophia home. She watched the whole miracle unfold. It is great to sit and talk to her about the progress the kids have made.

When she got here, Zack immediately came into the room, sat down, and began to chat with her. He went on and on and on. He answered many of the questions she would have asked me.

SW: What is your favorite food?
Zack: Pizza, Hot Dogs, Chicken Nuggets, Tomatoes, Fruit
SW: Tomatoes????
Zack: Yummy!

SW: What are your favorite toys?
Zack: SPIDERMAN
SW: Oh, you have Spiderman toy? What is it?
Zack: Video game, action figure, mortorcycle, puzzle, coloring book
SW: Oh, you love SPIDERMAN!
Zack: Yes, and Peter Parker. He has a girl frient and her name starts with an M.
SW: Really?
Zack: Can you guess?
Mom: Ummmmm, Mable?
Zack: NOOOOOOOOOO She's Mary Jane, Mom. You know that!!!!!

SW: What do you like to do?
Zack: Go to the park, go swimming, ride my bike, ride my scooter, play video games, do puzzles
SW: Can you swim by yourself?
Zack: Yes, no floaties! I can swim in the deep end.
SW: Really?
Zack: Yes, and once mom let me swim naked. giggle
Mom: beet red trying to remember the time to which he was referring
SW: Really? That was memorable wasn't it? (smile)
Zack: It was fun!!!! I only got to do it once though!

SW: What were you for Halloween?
Zack: Zack Sparrow. I had a wig, a hat, an eye patch, an earring, a costume, boots, and I wore makeup!
SW: You had the whole costume, didn't you?
Zack: I wore makeup, but I'm not girly!
SW: Is that so?
Zack: YES!

Sophia came in and out of the room during this time. She did a little break dancing for the SW, but she didn't talk a whole lot - surprisingly. Somehow, my kiddos switched personalities for a 30 minute timeframe!

Auntie Gina was in the other room watching the kiddos for me while I talked to the SW. At one point, about 10 minutes into our discussion, Sophia ran in and said, "Mom, Auntie Gina is sleeping"! I checked, and yep, sound asleep. It was funny! Sophia giggled and Zack just shrugged his shoulders with a grin. Good thing they're good kids!!!! They watched cartoons for about an hour and kept sleepy head company as SW and I finished up.

Towards the end of the visit, I called Z and S in and gave them kisses before sending them up to bed. They scurried upstairs and quickly fell fast asleep. SW was impressed with how happily obedient they are. Then we discussed that the security they have in our home is what allows them to happily trust me which equals happy obedience knowing their needs are always going to be met.

My SW is a Christian (this I know from inadvertant conversations). We have a very similar view of the role of parent. We both agree that kids should not only hear the word no, but should also be taught how to appropriately respond to hearing it. We also agree that giving kids everything they want or think they need will lead to the "princess/prince syndrome" which will likely cause them to think they are the center of the universe for the rest of their lives. Kids will only know how to see and meet the needs of others if their parents teach them to look outside their own wants and needs. And, lastly, we agree that kids should be stretched in their weak areas and encouraged often in their areas of strength. There needs to be balance in a kid's life. The balance needs to resemble the balance of a healthy adult. In other words, childhood cannot be consumed by play and no work, nor can it be all work and no play. A good balance will serve children well.

Many see giving kids regular chores as mean. I mean after all they'll have a job for the rest of their lives so why make them work as kids???? The answer to that is to give them a sense of worth beyond what they can get just by hearing from their parents that they are the greatest! I can see in my kids the great feeling they get when they finish their chores, and are able to play, relax, or do what they choose. They feel like they have earned something and have done so on their own. They have succeeded at a job well done, and now can enjoy the fruits of their labor. They are not learning that it is their mom or spouse's responsibility to work while they watch. Thank heavens for this because no one wants to be married to someone who doesn't know how and when to help without being asked.

Boy, I got off on a rabbit trail there! In short, the SW shared towards the end of our visit that by and large the - trying to figure out how to word this - ummmm... Single mothers rank very high as far as being the best adoptive parents that she has come across. She's a Christian, people.

A mom and a dad is often ideal, but where that is not possible, there is still hope for orphans and other kids who find themselves in single parent homes. All is not lost just because many families can't be defined as "ideal"!!!!

While I COMPLETELY value the traditional family - mom, dad, kids, happy home, I often wonder why the Bible doesn't talk so much about Joseph's role in Jesus' life or how Timothy turned out so well when it was all credited to Lois and Eunice, his mom and grandma? It just makes me wonder if God can work in ways that are seen as less than ideal. Me thinks he can and does and IS in this little fam who loves Him. And, in this case, my SW agrees.

The ABCs of Me

A- Age: 37
B- Band Listening to Right Now: The Cure
C - Career Future: Mother of Invention
D - Dad's Name: Jerry Manuel RIP
E - Easiest Person to Talk to: God and my Blog
F - Favorite Type of Shoe: Born (comfort, baby)
G - Grapes or Grapefruit: Grapes
H - Hometown: South Gate, CA (the geeto)
I - Instrumental Talent: Does the recorder count? A little piano here and there; Happily admit I have no talent in this area! Although, I think the bass would be my instrument of choice!
J - Juice of Choice: Cran-grape!!! YUMMY!!! Kid Juice - Hawaiin Punch!
K - Koala or Panda: Panda
L - Longest Car Ride: CA to Florida and back or from Nizhny Novgorod to Vyska the first time I was to meet my kiddos
M - Middle Name: Marie like nearly every other Mexican girl in CA!!!
N - Number of jobs you've had: ummm 6 soon to be 7
O - OCD Traits: Pajamas MUST match; Can only wear white socks with pjs; bed must be made before I climb in; I hate when people or animals sit on my bedspread; my kids outfits must match head to toe including shoes; must have a glass of water on my nightstand even though I rarely drink it; need the fan on at night or "I can't breath
P - Phobias: ROLLER COASTERS; small spaces; poverty
Q - Quote: "The reward for a job well done is having done it."
R - Reason to Smile: I have a mom who ROCKS! I have two beautiful kids who are amazingly perfect! I have incredibly gifted friends (gifted sometimes at annoying me but gifted none the less! LOL). God - He's one of a kind.
S - Song you sang last: "When I fall in love..." This was NOT by choice!!!
T - Time you wake up: 6:40AM!
U - Unknown fact about me: My PMS is relieved when I clean!!!!
V - Vegetable you hate: Lima Beans, Brussel Sprouts, Asparagus
W - Worst Habit: Eating the wrong things at the wrong times!!!!
X - X-Rays you've had: Ankle, Foot, and Wrist - all were found to be broken!
Y - Yummiest Food my Belly Likes: Fresh bread in France; a loaded baked potato; danish; macroons; Romaine Chicken Salad at El Torito; chicken marsala at Cheesecake Factory
Z - Zodiac Sign: Leo - hear me roar!

Disneyland Day in Pics

In this pic of Zack, it seems to me like you can see what he is going to look like when he's older. For some reason, the pic ages him about 5 years...

Another one of Sophia's self prescribed poses!

We had a great day at Disneyland! It was just the three of us which ended up being quite nice! The kiddos are finally both over 40 inches tall so we got to go on many rides together! Add to that the fact that there were NO LINES, and we had an awesome day of getting on whatever we wanted to without waiting!

The kids ran to Woody to have their pic taken!

Here we are on the Pinnochio ride!

Believe it or not, this pic was not posed!

Buzz Lightyear is their favorite character in Toy Story, and they love him because they remember well how Buzz scared Auntie Stepha last time we were at Disneyland!

It is nice to be back in California!!! So, we went to California Adventure too!

They shared a HUGE corndog from CA Adventure! Zack was so great about helping Sophia! All I had to do was watch and occasionally put a squeeze of ketchup on the tip of the dog for them!

I got to go on the parachute drop with them...Yikes! I hate heights, but anything for the kiddos.

Who can pass up a pic with Lightning McQueen?

We ended the day at grandma's house where we got to play with the puppies!!!

Zack is slowly conquering his fear of dogs. He is now comfortable with puppies and small dogs. I am proud of him.

Here is grandma with her two youngest grandaughters. Grandma won't be happy I posted this because she is not up to putting makeup on quite yet as she just cries it off, but I promised myself I would not pass up any more pic moments involving the fam. Life is just too short! She'll understand!

Shortly after puppy play, this is what I found on the couch!!!!

Zack was having fun playing video games with his Uncle Anthony...he is addicted to video games even though I rarely let him play! It seems to be a fixation for him. He asks about 12 times a day if he can play video games!!!

Any moms out there have any feedback on video games and kidlets? Do you let them play as long as they'd like? Do you limit them? Do you see benefit to them playing? For some reason, I think it is okay for about 30 minutes or so a day, but I don't like that Zack is so fixated on playing. Any thoughts or feedback is welcomed!!!!

I took this picture in Carrolton, TX just as we began our trip. It reminds me in many ways of Zack and Sophia. Can you guess which is which? Zack is looking back at us assessing things before he moves on, and Sophia is looking towards the future with all of the wonderment and lack of fear you can imagine!

The kids still LOVE bananas!!!! And, Zack still has a tiny bit of trouble smiling naturally! He does this little crooked thing!

The following pictures have been WEAKLY altered to protect those in the background of the photo!

It is amazing how much fun the kids had cleaning up the yard! I sent them out to play, and they asked for brooms! Of course, I said, "Sure," and here is the result! They did a decent job of removing the leaves.

And, then when all the work was finished, their imaginations kicked into gear!!!! Here are my two little witches! I love to see them use their senses of humor and imagination in unison. Sophia was very disappointed that her broom would not fly!

Proud of a job well done!

I think the fam will be happy when we visit again as they don't mind free yard work! Grandma just grins from ear to ear at her cool grandkids!!!

This morning Zack informed me that Sophia would not let him sleep.

Zack: Sophia woke me up.

Mom: How?

Zack: Um, I don't know.

Mom: Was she tickling you?

Zack: NO

Mom: Well, how did she wake you up?

Zack: Her eyes were open and she was looking at me!

As I sit here now, Sophia is singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star." I love her little voice!

Tomorrow, we're off to Disneyland, and the kids are counting down the hours!!!! As for me, I'm remembering why I'd tired of it! Shame on me! I worked at Disneyland during the summer of '89, and somehow that stint changed my view of the Happiest Place on Earth; however, I must admit that seeing it through the eyes of my kids has brought it back to life for me!!!

They're pushing for a trip to Knotts too, but I don't think we'll fit that in during this visit! Mom can only handle so much!

A Sunny Day in CA

This has been a crazy couple of days! On Monday, we went to Long Beach at 10AM for the viewing of my dad. Surprisingly, this was a pleasant time for me. I wanted to have some sort of closure, and this helped. It was strange having him pass while I was in Texas. I just felt like he'd always be here when I returned, but alas, that was not the case.

Dad looked peaceful, and in all honesty, why wouldn't he? He is now walking the streets of gold and perhaps fishing in a crystal sea. I'm sure he's looking down seeing life and eternity clearly. I got my chance to say goodbye, and that helped. I saw his earthly body, and am certain that he no longer inhabited it!

That same evening we had the memorial service at the church where most of us kids grew up. There was a very large turn out which was nice. It is always good to see people pay respect to someone you love. Zack and Sophia did so well. They knew we were saying goodbye to grandpa.

Zack said, "Mom if people cry, what should I do"? I said, "You can just give them a hug and say 'It's okay.'" He did this several times through this time. He has such a tender heart and understanding of people's feelings. It's cool to see.

Sophia knew we were saying goodbye, and since she knows grandpa is in heaven, she ran in circles looking up into the great big sky saying, "Goodbye Grandpa" over and over with a great big smile. She and Zack both wanted to know if there are video games in heaven!!! Being a believer in God and heaven and all that goes along with it, makes death a lot easier! That's for certain! It is just a step from one life to another.

Today we drove to Ventura for the internment. The service was comforting as was seeing the family together once more. With so many siblings, it isn't often that all of us are in the same place at the same time.

This afternoon, Zack, Sophia, and I took the dog for a long walk down to the park where they played for about an hour. Good times! Those moments are what life is all about! Zack said, "Mom, you are the BEST"!!!! "Next time I draw a picture, I am going to write 'I love you'"! "Thank you for walking with us"! It is indeed the little things in life that make all the difference in our kids' lives.

To keep this real, I should share one struggle although it is not huge. Sophia has taken to unbuckling her seat belt mid trip or anytime the car stops! This is a tad bit frustrating and dangerous! So, for now, she has lost her seat belt unbuckling privileges which means she can't ever unbuckle herself. She has to wait for me to come around. This typically means that all the kids are out of the Yukon before she is. She doesn't like that much so I think after a week or two of this her bad habit will be broken. We shall see.

Which brings me to a parenting topic that hits home more and more. Disciplining and training kids takes a TON of discipline on the parents' part!!!!! I mean, do you think I want to have to go all the way around the car and unbuckle her each and every time??? NOPE, but no pain no gain. And, have you ever felt like putting your kids on restriction is really just restricting yourself???? Mine aren't old enough for that yet, but I certainly hope I'll have discipline enough to stick to my guns even if it means I have to miss a nail appointment. Who knows? Again, we shall see.

Road Trip Complete

Well, we left Texas at 11AM on Saturday and arrived in California at our destination at 8:00AM!!! It was a crazy drive. Gina and I started out taking turns driving 5 hour lengths and by the time we were half way here, we were driving one hour lengths between which we'd be sound asleep. It was like ancient Chinese torture!!!!

The kids did great on the road. Zack only asked about 10 times if we were there yet and said several times, "I told you this was gonna be long." Both slept for 10 hours of the drive and LOVED the bathroom stops at the Flying J truck stops where we let them get pretty much whatever they wanted within reason. That was an unusual treat indeed.

We are all settled in now. Baths have been taken and our PJs are comfy and warm. In about an hour, we'll turn out the lights and get some much needed sleep.

Tomorrow at 10AM is the viewing of my dad followed by his memorial service at 5:30PM. Tuesday, we travel up to Ventura for the actual burial. I am not looking forward to the sorrow involved in all of this, but I am longing for the closure I believe it will bring.

Mom: I wonder what the weather is going to be today...
Zack: Um, I think partly cloudy!

Auntie Gina: I will beat you up!
Sophia: Oh, yes, well I will throw away all of your books!

Wednesday is our post placement report visit from the social worker. Can you believe it has been nearly an entire year? It seems like time has flown by and yet, it feels like the kiddos have been here forever!!!! I wouldn't have it any other way!

Thursday, we're going to Disneyland!!!! The kids are looking forward to this with great anticipation! Their passes are still active so that is very cool!

Precious Moments

Today Zack exclaimed: "I can count to 44"!!!! Why 44? I have no idea!

Auntie Gina: "At Disneyland are you gonna get some popcorn?"
Sophia: "I don't know." "Do you have money"?

As I sit here on my bed, I hear Sophia's faint little snore next to me. She is napping. Someday I'll wish she were this little again with that tiny button nose!

Zack and Josh are doing their chores. I can hear them teaming up to get them done quickly. After their chores, they'll have a spot of homework, and then they'll disappear into their imaginary super hero worlds. They play VERY well together.

Yesterday's homework was not too successful for Zack. He had a paper that said, "Dear _____,
Thank you so much for...___________________________________

Love, __________

There were more lines, but you get the gist of it. He was supposed to write a letter. I explained and later he brings the paper to me all proud. It says this, "Dear Thank you so much for Love Dear Thank you so much for Love Dear Thank you so much for Love Dear Thank you so much for Love...

Many of the letters were backwards, and I noticed his writing is a little curly. I think someday he'll have nice penmanship. I was just wondering, do most kindergarten kids know how to pick up a pencil and write a letter????

Sophia has successfully learned the colors pink, black, and red. I throw others in now and again, but she gets frustrated with the whole learning process right now. I point to S and she says A. I point to A and she says S. I don't think she's ready to learn this stuff just yet. Little by little, she 'll get it all.

And, just so you know we're ultra human around here, I have fed the kids corn dogs, mac and cheese, Stoffers chicken nuggets and ramen this week. I never got around to buying fruit or veggies either! You should see the kids faces when i hand them a plate of corn dogs and chips for dinner! They are shockingly pleased! They better enjoy it while it lasts cause the full of energy me prefers the healthy stuff, you know broccoli, carrots, tomatoes, cucumbers and celery chased down with their favorite pasta dish and followed by Bluebell ice cream!!!! Okay, okay, okay, so it isn't all healthy, but it is a heck of a lot better than corn dogs and cheese balls!

Last night Sophia ate a bowl of mac and cheese, 6 chicken fingers, two cookies and chased it down with a piece of pizza! That girl can eat!!! And, there is not an ounce of fat on her 31 pound body!!!! And no signs of any digestion issues either. She hit the jackpot with her metabolism!

On a side note, for parents of 3 to 6 year olds, I highly suggest the Leap Frog videos about letters, words, and numbers. Even Sophia sings, "A, E, I, O, U, we're the vowels. We're the glue that stick the words together. We're very sticky letters. Oh, great, now I'm singing it!!!

I have a certain friend who will go unnamed (as in she is in the witness protection program) who sings ALL OF THE TIME! Well, at work she doesn't sing too much unless asked, but when away from the office, it is sing, sing, sing... And, amazingly she seems to know every word to every song in every musical ever made! If you knew who she was, you could test her. She'd enjoy that - no doubt. Although, she claims to be very shy.

For now, I'll stick to AEIOU because as Gina would say, the artists always mess up on the words to the songs I sing!!!!

A Lot of Good

I have been thinking a lot lately. That likely comes as no surprise!!! I think death can teach you a lot of good!!! It is funny how many decisions we make without having an eternal perspective. It is kind of sad actually.

Dealing with my dad's death is teaching me that people are important. I take for granted that people will be there tomorrow. This means when I am ticked or feel slighted, I often want to make sure that people know. And, now, I say why bother?!!! Why bother being ticked? And, why allow someone else the power to slight you?

If I am secure in who I am, I will be better able to love like I should. I think the Bible says to love with no guile. Without being a rug for people to walk on, there has to be a way to choose not to major on the minors.

I just keep thinking, "If "so and so" were to die tomorrow, would I really care that they said such and so or did this or that"? The answer to that is no. I'd want one more day to laugh with them, chat, enjoy life... I'd want one more day to do the things that created the friendship in the first place.

And, along those same lines if I were to die tomorrow, I would want to have lived my life to the fullest right up until that day. There are just too many people and things to enjoy to get down trodden by things that don't really matter in the whole scheme of things.

It is a good thing to look in the mirror and to know that you are exactly where you need to be in that moment in time. This morning that moment in time came early!!!!

The kiddos went back to school today. The boys were happy to get back to their friends! They actually popped out of bed VERY quickly!!!! My mom would say, "bright eyed and bushy tailed"!!!

Life is good! Some circumstances right now are bad, but life is good!!!! And, God is good all of the time!!!!


Sorry no pics!!!

A Pic for the Kids

Since I plan to make this blog into books for the kids when they are older, I thought it wise to post a pic of their grandparents for them to see when they are grown. This one is for you Zack and Sophia:

Hmmmm... You may have some questions:

Your grandpa was 3/4 Mexican and 1/4 Spanish which is why you and your white mama have the last name Rivera!!! He loved to give you presents and to tell everyone about you and how you came from Russia. Before he passed, he had a wallet that was his most prized position. Mama had no idea why he held this wallet so close to him at all times even when he couldn't go out to spend any money, but I found out later that it was because in the wallet, Auntie Victoria had placed pictures of you, Sophia, and all of your aunts and uncles and cousins. When grandpa passed, he had 8 kids, 10 grandkids and 4 great grandkids!!!

Grandpa would hold that wallet and open it up randomly to look at your little faces. When grandpa went to heaven, this is what you looked like:

I post this pic of you two because your aunts and uncles are always trying to remember how old they were when grandpa and grandma died. This will make it easy for you to remember!!!

California Bound

This Saturday, we will hop in the Yukon and head for California for my dad's viewing and funeral services. It is a 22 hour drive, and parts of it are beautiful. Other parts are rather dull, but the drive through Flagstaff is surprisingly breathtaking.

Yesterday I went through one box of pictures searching for pictures of my dad and the fam. At first, Stephanie was NOT HAPPY with the idea of looking at pictures, but once we started looking, we were in no time laughing and remembering the good times we had with him.

Auntie Gina spent a good part of yesterday with mom going through pictures on that end. She wins the best adopted daughter award!!!! Mom enjoyed the time with her, and Gina has graciously offered to make a dvd of pictures and video for the family to have for years to come. That will be a blessing. It is nice to have a techie in the family!!!

Please bear with me as I use this blog as a way to express my inner most thoughts during this time. It is hard to express the feeling of losing a parent. I remember when my mom's mother died. My mom was broken hearted for a long time. Then she'd have great weeks mixed with days of sadness. Now after five years, she has moments in time when she'll say, "I miss my mom," and a tear will fall. Then she'll dry her eyes and ponder heaven. We still don't openly talk about my mom's mom when my mom is around because she misses her so much.

I know all people mourn differently so I am not sure what to expect. Yesterday I never officially got out of bed other than to feed the kids. They came into my room for hugs and kisses and drew pictures for me, etc... I wasn't crying too much. I was just numb. Ken (12.5) has been aweseome playing with the kids and keeping them busy. The three youngers are doing great and loving their last couple days of winter break!

I am dreading going to the cemetery. Not only will I be mourning the loss of my dad, but I will mourn once again the loss of the GREATEST grandfather in the world, my treasured aunt who died at of a heart attack 42, and most recently my grandmother. My dad has one remaining sibling. The rest of his family is gone. So, I'll mourn each one once again as my dad is placed to rest with my grandpa.

We'll place flowers on each grave. The nine of us will begin sharing memories and leave feeling an extreme sense of loss.

On a happy proud note, my niece, Torie is a beauty queen!!! She had her pictures taken at a studio and when her daddy went to pick them up, he looked up and there was a HUGE picture of her on the wall that will be used for advertising!! The manager said, "Please tell your wife that you two make beautiful babies." Anthony made it home and the translation was this, "She said I made a beautiful baby"!!!! Mom said, "Sweetie, it took an egg and a sperm". He said, "Well yes of course, the size of her head is clearly from the egg"!

So, you see, we do still have laughter abounding in the midst of the loss! As soon as I get a pic of my niece, I'll post it.

Thanks for the prayers, texts, and comments. I appreciate all of you so much. And, a special shout out to mi vida. You are a saint and an angel in diguise. OMW - that could be considered a back handed compliment! If you are mi vida, you know that you are making the way a whole lot easier for us.

And, to Auntie Gina, thanks for being the best adopted sister ever. Further proof that adoption is awesome. Thanks for being there for mom.

Goodbye Dad...Goodbye Grandpa...

I regret to inform my readers that my dad died today. It came as a huge blow to the gut. He has been sick off and on for some time, but I never expected him to die. Mom called, and I could tell by her hello that he was gone. And, I hate the permanence of it all.

I keep replaying the memories in my mind. And the more I replay the memories, the more I cry. My dad was not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. He had his hangups for sure. He could have hugged us more, bounced us on his knee, told us he loved us regularly... But, I do believe with all my heart that he loved all eight of us as much as he could.

I also know that he loved my mom. It wasn't necessarily the way she needed to be loved, but he loved her none the less. My parents were married for 45 years. They got married when my mom was 15 and my dad was 18. They split up on Christmas Eve about seven years ago. They've been officially divorced for about three years. Mom gave him her youth and could give no more. She, being a devout Christ follower, made a tough decision, but I firmly believe it was the right one.

Ever since the break up, dad begged for mom to take him back. He just had a couple of hang ups that he wasn't willing to deal with in order to find health. Through it all, mom never turned her back on him. He was in and out of the hospital for various ailments, and mom was always there making sure the doc was taking good care of him. Dad was morbidly shy so she knew he needed a voice. Of course, those of you who knew him, also know he could be quite a pill when upset.

Mom stayed strong and never gave up on him. She was strong for all of us. The details of their relationship aren't mine to disclose, but since I am their kid, it is fair to say that I love them both equally despite any shortcomings on either side.

My memories of him are plenty. I think I got the best of him. My siblings are 48, 46, 34, 24, 23, 20, and 18. I am 37. When my oldest brothers were young, my dad was a kid trying to find himself. And, when my younger siblings were young, he was getting old and cranky. But, when I was young, let me tell you what I remember:

I remember that he'd wake me up in the morning in the most irritating way - sticking his finger in my ear. He knew it was the only way I'd budge.

He would pick me up from school each and every day. He'd say some poem about his little monkey (me), and then he'd ask me what I'd learned that day. I'd say nothing much, and he'd say, wow, your mom is wasting her money on this private school!!! :) I'd smile.

He'd show up at home with random gifts - candy, clothes, shoes... One time he brought me a slip to wear under my skirts!!!! I already had one, but he said he saw it on sale and thought I'd like it. Sounds strange, I know, but he was thoughtful.

He'd take my sister and me to Disneyland, Knotts Berry Farm, the IceCapades, and the circus every single year multiple times. He also took me to ride ponies often.

After his first heart attack 25+ years ago, he began taking us on long Saturday walks all the way to the donut shop!!!! (he always said don't tell your mom or your donuts will end)

When mom got too tough, he'd step in for me. Like when she demanded I never listen to secular music. He came in my room turned it on and turned it up and told her to let me grow up. (i can remember feeling bad for mom and turning it back down) I wonder if he knew he was taking the fun out of my "rebelling"!!!! :)

Every night after he finished eating the wonderful meal I had cooked, he'd ask me to make him a peanut butter and jelly sandwich!

He always came through on Christmas day! We always had bikes, dolls, toys gallore... HE LOVED TO GIVE!!!

In the 8 months my kids have been home, my dad had given them dozens of gifts. Each one was well thought out, and Zack and Sophia can tell you what came from grandpa.

He sent me $10 once through my mom, and told her to tell me to enjoy a good lunch. This was just about a year ago!

My dad was Mexican and spoke Spanish fluently but refused to speak it in front of us!!!!

My dad did a lot of good in his life. I have to be honest with my readers though, he died a very lonely death. He literally starved to death. He had eight children all of whom struggled to get past the wall he kept up. It was only in the past couple of years that dad would say to us that he loved us. He'd generally follow this up with, "Please ask your mom to take me back".

It had been years, and he still had never moved on. He hadn't dealt with his issues nor had he been strong enough to simply move on to someone with less integrity than my mom. It was very hard to be around him. It was tough to talk to him because in us he saw a way to my mom's heart. He'd spend the bulk of our visits talking about her and expressing his great need for her in his life. It was PAINFUL to hear it. It was even more PAINFUL to see him giving up on life. We all could see him dying of a broken heart, and we each struggled with it in our own way. We NEVER, however, thought it wise for my mom to take him back into her home. Hear me when I say, though, that he was not an ogre. He was not evil. He just had a couple of serious hangups that were negatively impacting my mom and the kids still left at home.

I miss him so much!!! I was going to call him this afternoon to tell him I love him. I was too late. I trust he knew I loved him. I just wanted to tell him one more time.

Mom was at his apartment today because his nurses were there to bathe him and get him clean sheets, etc... He had recently taken a turn for the worse. Mom always made sure she was there for those times. His blood pressure was low. His heart beat was slow. He hadn't eaten for a month or more. He opened his eyes and looked my mom straight in her eyes. She looked back as if to say, "I'm sorry for your pain." Him saying clearly in a look that he loved her deeply and as best he could. She turned to talk to the nurse, and when they turned back he had passed into the arms of Jesus. Just like that BOOM gone.

Dad's death certificate will state that he died of natural causes. I will always know that he died of a broken heart. So now, I mourn. I mourn the loss of my father - the one I knew and loved. And, I mourn the loss of a dream - the dream that at some point he'd get his stuff together and find joy.

I believe that my dad had accepted Christ and is in heaven right now. I find peace in knowing that he is with Jesus now. His issues are no more. His broken heart is mended. His pain is gone.

Dad, I was gonna call. I was gonna say, "I love you" one more time. Thanks for the memories. Thanks for giving me life. Thanks for loving as best you could. May you rest in peace.

Please pray for my family during this time.

Zack: Mom, grandpa is alive in heaven.
Mom: Yes, baby, he is.
Zack: Remember mom, God has super powers, and he could make grandpa alive up there.

Sophia: Mom, grandpa will wake up with Jesus.

Dad LOVED my kids. He talked about his Russian grandbabies incessantly. Anyone who dealt with him knew Zack and Sophia by name. Thanks dad for all that bragging on your grandbabies. I will keep your memory alive.

Thanks to all who have called and/or text messaged me. It means a lot. In order to find some sort of closure, there will be a viewing next Monday. He will be cremated and buried with my grandpa.

Dad had a great sense of humor so you can be sure that through the tears, his kids are finding reason to laugh. And, the Bible is right, it is a good medicine.

Please keep my mom in your thoughts and prayers. I can't even begin to imagine the pain she feels as she mourns such a great loss. I love you mom!!!! I love you so much more than you could ever know!

Conversations with the kiddos

S: (walks into my room) MOM, where is Auntie Gina.
Mom: We took her to the airport, remember?
S: What did SHE do with your bed????

I sold my bedroom furniture on Craig's list. I never liked it. It was HILARIOUS to hear Sophia's thoughts as to where it had gone!!!! She was definitely putting puzzle pieces together, but a clear reminder that some pieces we put together in our minds don't actually fit!!! :)

S: (driving down the road) MC DONALDS, MOM!!!! (I am not a fan of my kids eating that crud too often.)

Mom: We're not going there tonight, sweety.

S: I'm hungry.

Mom: I'll give you some chicken at home.

S: Ummmm, no sanks!

That little stinker! :)

S: Zack, get out of my room, I am naked. (standing in undies putting jammies on)

Zack: Sophia, I am your BROTHER! (he not only admits it but uses it to get passage into her room)

S: SOOOOOOO, you can't see my teetzkas!

That crazy girl!

Zack: Mom, when we get home I need to tell you something.

Mom: Okay, sweetie.

Zack: It starts with an H.

Mom: Wow, cool.

Zack: I'll tell Stepha in her ear.

Stepha: Bursts out in laughter.

Mom: What did he say??????

Zack: You can tell her Stepha.

Stepha: He said MY MOM IS HOT!!!

Mom: Why are you laughing so hard???

Oh my goodness, he is a crazy boy!!!!

Josh: (Glass comes crashing down out of the cupboard) Oops, I am sorry.

D: It's okay. Accidents happen. Go up and take a shower. (to get any little shards off of him) Kenny will help me clean it up.

Ken: I asked him not to put the glasses away for me. (jr high look of irritation)

D: Well, it is okay that he was trying to help. I think he'll reach for the plastic next time.

Ken: Good thing.

about an hour goes by...

Josh: Ummmm, can I play?

D: Sure, it is still early.

Josh: Can I watch cartoons?

D: Sure, if cartoons are on upstairs.

Josh: I'm not in trouble?

D: For what?

Josh: Ummm, nevermind!

Only then did I figure out he thought he'd done something wrong by dropping the glass! :) We laughed long and hard over that one!!!! Josh hardly ever gets in trouble so I guess he was thinking this was gonna be one of the few times. I am glad he asked what he could do or I think he may have put himself to bed! :)

Ken: Did that count as dinner?

He is growing by leaps and bounds and so is his appetite!!!!

I could be severely biased by I think that my kids and my nephews are some of the best kids in town!

Here is their first pic ever together as cousins:

My babies are growing up...

No, not my Zack and Sophia, but my first babies. For those who don't know me well, let me explain:


Dear Jesus, THANKS!!!! Drew's moment of pride...


The kids were ready to jump into the jacuzzi even though it was 40 outside!!!



This pic is for Heather and Allie - the hair is getting long!!!!

When I was eight years old, my mom, my sister, and I began praying for a baby sister or brother. We prayed for five long years, and then when I turned 13, my mom had my sister, Victoria (now 24). Twenty-three months later she had my sister, Stephanie (now 23). Two and a half years later she had Drew (now 20) and then 2 years later, Mike (now 18).

From the age of thirteen to 22, taking a one year break to move away for Bible college, I raised these kids along side my mom. Dad was there but not really there. That's a whole other story for another time. I fed them, clothed them, bathed them, took them ot the doctor, nurtured them, etc... They were like my own. Because of these four kiddos, I was well prepared for Zack and Sophia.

I love these grown "kids" so much!!!! I am proud of each one for different reasons, but today I am as proud as a peacock. Why? Well, Stephanie and Drew qualified all on their own for their very first apartment! It is a VERY nice complex here in TX, and they are beyond excited to be moving out on their own. Michael will be moving in with them as well, but he won't carry equal weight as far as the bills. He is only 18 and still working part time so the funds aren't as plentiful for him.

I will miss seeing Steph everyday, but I can't tell you how blessed I am to see her moving out on her own. The smile she wears is so awesome to see. Thinking back even six months ago, you couldn't have convinced me that she'd be happy here let alone working and getting her own place here. The glory goes to God. I have seen Him working in her life in a mighty way over the past six months. She is truly a new person.

That there is my baby girl, the best Auntie in the world, and a future GREAT CATCH for some man looking for an awesome wife and mother!!!! She cooks, she cleans, she does incredible laundry, she nurtures, she loves, and she has a crazy side to her as well! Oh, and she is a godly woman! :)