California Bound

This Saturday, we will hop in the Yukon and head for California for my dad's viewing and funeral services. It is a 22 hour drive, and parts of it are beautiful. Other parts are rather dull, but the drive through Flagstaff is surprisingly breathtaking.

Yesterday I went through one box of pictures searching for pictures of my dad and the fam. At first, Stephanie was NOT HAPPY with the idea of looking at pictures, but once we started looking, we were in no time laughing and remembering the good times we had with him.

Auntie Gina spent a good part of yesterday with mom going through pictures on that end. She wins the best adopted daughter award!!!! Mom enjoyed the time with her, and Gina has graciously offered to make a dvd of pictures and video for the family to have for years to come. That will be a blessing. It is nice to have a techie in the family!!!

Please bear with me as I use this blog as a way to express my inner most thoughts during this time. It is hard to express the feeling of losing a parent. I remember when my mom's mother died. My mom was broken hearted for a long time. Then she'd have great weeks mixed with days of sadness. Now after five years, she has moments in time when she'll say, "I miss my mom," and a tear will fall. Then she'll dry her eyes and ponder heaven. We still don't openly talk about my mom's mom when my mom is around because she misses her so much.

I know all people mourn differently so I am not sure what to expect. Yesterday I never officially got out of bed other than to feed the kids. They came into my room for hugs and kisses and drew pictures for me, etc... I wasn't crying too much. I was just numb. Ken (12.5) has been aweseome playing with the kids and keeping them busy. The three youngers are doing great and loving their last couple days of winter break!

I am dreading going to the cemetery. Not only will I be mourning the loss of my dad, but I will mourn once again the loss of the GREATEST grandfather in the world, my treasured aunt who died at of a heart attack 42, and most recently my grandmother. My dad has one remaining sibling. The rest of his family is gone. So, I'll mourn each one once again as my dad is placed to rest with my grandpa.

We'll place flowers on each grave. The nine of us will begin sharing memories and leave feeling an extreme sense of loss.

On a happy proud note, my niece, Torie is a beauty queen!!! She had her pictures taken at a studio and when her daddy went to pick them up, he looked up and there was a HUGE picture of her on the wall that will be used for advertising!! The manager said, "Please tell your wife that you two make beautiful babies." Anthony made it home and the translation was this, "She said I made a beautiful baby"!!!! Mom said, "Sweetie, it took an egg and a sperm". He said, "Well yes of course, the size of her head is clearly from the egg"!

So, you see, we do still have laughter abounding in the midst of the loss! As soon as I get a pic of my niece, I'll post it.

Thanks for the prayers, texts, and comments. I appreciate all of you so much. And, a special shout out to mi vida. You are a saint and an angel in diguise. OMW - that could be considered a back handed compliment! If you are mi vida, you know that you are making the way a whole lot easier for us.

And, to Auntie Gina, thanks for being the best adopted sister ever. Further proof that adoption is awesome. Thanks for being there for mom.