Post Placement Report #2 Checked off our List!

As many of you know, there are four post placement reports that must be written after an adoption from Russia. These reports are created by an adoption agency here in the US and submitted to the Ministry of Education in Russia. For some, it may seem a little invasive or scary, but it isn't scary in the least. I will say, however, that leading up to the visit from the social worker, one does feel that it is a little invasive. But, the two post placement visits I've had have been so enjoyable that it is surprising to think that I'll be nervous a year from now when the next one is due. But alas, I know myself well.

For those wondering why the reports are necessary, it is mainly to give the Russia Government some sense of knowing that "their" kids are not being abused or harmed. There have been a couple handfuls of cases over the past decade in which Russian kids have been abused and or killed by American adoptive parents. It is so very sad and so rare but a worry none the less. The post placement reports give the Russian gov't some way of tracking the safety of their kids. You may find this, as do I, ironic since the parental care offered to so many kids in their country is so poor, but perhaps abusing or neglecting ones' biological kids is not as bad as an adoptive parent from another country abusing or neglecting them. I see an area in which a dire form of reform is needed. Perhaps they need a village - let's send Hillary over there!!!! Perhaps when her campaign is over, she'll have some time on her hands.

Back to my post placement visit... My Social Worker is the BEST! She is like part of the family really. I met her first for my homestudy about 8 months before I brought Zack and Sophia home. She watched the whole miracle unfold. It is great to sit and talk to her about the progress the kids have made.

When she got here, Zack immediately came into the room, sat down, and began to chat with her. He went on and on and on. He answered many of the questions she would have asked me.

SW: What is your favorite food?
Zack: Pizza, Hot Dogs, Chicken Nuggets, Tomatoes, Fruit
SW: Tomatoes????
Zack: Yummy!

SW: What are your favorite toys?
Zack: SPIDERMAN
SW: Oh, you have Spiderman toy? What is it?
Zack: Video game, action figure, mortorcycle, puzzle, coloring book
SW: Oh, you love SPIDERMAN!
Zack: Yes, and Peter Parker. He has a girl frient and her name starts with an M.
SW: Really?
Zack: Can you guess?
Mom: Ummmmm, Mable?
Zack: NOOOOOOOOOO She's Mary Jane, Mom. You know that!!!!!

SW: What do you like to do?
Zack: Go to the park, go swimming, ride my bike, ride my scooter, play video games, do puzzles
SW: Can you swim by yourself?
Zack: Yes, no floaties! I can swim in the deep end.
SW: Really?
Zack: Yes, and once mom let me swim naked. giggle
Mom: beet red trying to remember the time to which he was referring
SW: Really? That was memorable wasn't it? (smile)
Zack: It was fun!!!! I only got to do it once though!

SW: What were you for Halloween?
Zack: Zack Sparrow. I had a wig, a hat, an eye patch, an earring, a costume, boots, and I wore makeup!
SW: You had the whole costume, didn't you?
Zack: I wore makeup, but I'm not girly!
SW: Is that so?
Zack: YES!

Sophia came in and out of the room during this time. She did a little break dancing for the SW, but she didn't talk a whole lot - surprisingly. Somehow, my kiddos switched personalities for a 30 minute timeframe!

Auntie Gina was in the other room watching the kiddos for me while I talked to the SW. At one point, about 10 minutes into our discussion, Sophia ran in and said, "Mom, Auntie Gina is sleeping"! I checked, and yep, sound asleep. It was funny! Sophia giggled and Zack just shrugged his shoulders with a grin. Good thing they're good kids!!!! They watched cartoons for about an hour and kept sleepy head company as SW and I finished up.

Towards the end of the visit, I called Z and S in and gave them kisses before sending them up to bed. They scurried upstairs and quickly fell fast asleep. SW was impressed with how happily obedient they are. Then we discussed that the security they have in our home is what allows them to happily trust me which equals happy obedience knowing their needs are always going to be met.

My SW is a Christian (this I know from inadvertant conversations). We have a very similar view of the role of parent. We both agree that kids should not only hear the word no, but should also be taught how to appropriately respond to hearing it. We also agree that giving kids everything they want or think they need will lead to the "princess/prince syndrome" which will likely cause them to think they are the center of the universe for the rest of their lives. Kids will only know how to see and meet the needs of others if their parents teach them to look outside their own wants and needs. And, lastly, we agree that kids should be stretched in their weak areas and encouraged often in their areas of strength. There needs to be balance in a kid's life. The balance needs to resemble the balance of a healthy adult. In other words, childhood cannot be consumed by play and no work, nor can it be all work and no play. A good balance will serve children well.

Many see giving kids regular chores as mean. I mean after all they'll have a job for the rest of their lives so why make them work as kids???? The answer to that is to give them a sense of worth beyond what they can get just by hearing from their parents that they are the greatest! I can see in my kids the great feeling they get when they finish their chores, and are able to play, relax, or do what they choose. They feel like they have earned something and have done so on their own. They have succeeded at a job well done, and now can enjoy the fruits of their labor. They are not learning that it is their mom or spouse's responsibility to work while they watch. Thank heavens for this because no one wants to be married to someone who doesn't know how and when to help without being asked.

Boy, I got off on a rabbit trail there! In short, the SW shared towards the end of our visit that by and large the - trying to figure out how to word this - ummmm... Single mothers rank very high as far as being the best adoptive parents that she has come across. She's a Christian, people.

A mom and a dad is often ideal, but where that is not possible, there is still hope for orphans and other kids who find themselves in single parent homes. All is not lost just because many families can't be defined as "ideal"!!!!

While I COMPLETELY value the traditional family - mom, dad, kids, happy home, I often wonder why the Bible doesn't talk so much about Joseph's role in Jesus' life or how Timothy turned out so well when it was all credited to Lois and Eunice, his mom and grandma? It just makes me wonder if God can work in ways that are seen as less than ideal. Me thinks he can and does and IS in this little fam who loves Him. And, in this case, my SW agrees.