Prayer

It's not about a list of what you want or need, but about bearing your soul to Him...not being afraid to come before him all confused and brawl beaten. It is about you just being YOU and Him loving you no matter what.

I relate it to my kids. I wouldn't want them relating to me with a false self. Behaving, smiling, laughing, being polite... only when they talk to me. I want them to be able to say, "I hate school," "I feel sad, weak, or confused," and/or, "I screwed up big time, mom". I want them to be real with me all the way to their human little cores.

I think God wants the same from us. If I have a day where life sucks, I should come to God with my truth. Typically, He'll transform my mind, and other times, He'll say, "I know, my child." "I know." This is a relationship I have never understood.

It is not that I didn't pray. I did, but always for others because I felt so unworthy. Strangely enough, as hard as it is for me to fathom, God wants to relate to the real me. The me who is incredibly flawed. The me who makes mistakes. The me who some people don't like. The me who is really me.

It's sinking in slowly. Now, I pray to Him as a human hiding nothing - completely vulnerable. Asking that He right some wrongs...upturn some dominos over which I have no control.

Kids are doing well. Zack is line leader this week and loving it. Today I am the one who got into trouble for forgetting there's no school tomorrow so his homework had to be done today! DUH!

Sophia, with her little bossy ways, has been having a great week, and shhhh don't tell Zack, SHE IS TALLER THAN HE IS NOW!!!! I just noticed it yesterday! No wonder she's been eating so much!!!

And, some have asked about the vitamins I am starting. TriVita (only online) They have sublingual vitamins which means they are strips that disolve under the tongue and go right into the system. It has been suggested I take B12, Cal Mag D, and HCY Guard. I have a couple of friends who have suffered with depression/anxiety, and these have helped in place of perscription meds. I am not giving my feedback until I've taken them for a couple of weeks.