To My Daughter

Dear Sophia,

It has been 20 months since I first laid eyes on you. You were a tiny little button nosed angel wearing a green plaid dress standing in front of a Christmas tree. My stomach had butterflies. The earth seemed to be spinning faster than it had the day before. As I looked into your big blue eyes, I knew God had led me to you. He had sent me thousands of miles to meet the wonderful little person who would become my Sophia Joy Rivera.

I have to admit that it was very scary for me - the thought of becoming your mama forever and ever. I wondered if I'd do a good job; if I'd love you enough; if I'd be all that you needed me to be. Auntie Gina could tell you that I felt sick on the three hour drive back from the orphanage that day. Emotions were running high, and all I could wonder was what God had in store for us together as a family.

I'll never forget hearing your voice as you sang a Russian song for me or the day you asked me to put all of the hair bands in your hair at one time. Then there was the day that we chased each other round and round that big pink room with that monstrous stuffed lion. We would growl at each other and giggle as Auntie Gina snapped photos.
Then out came the balloons and bubbles.

I was so nervous and am such an inhibited person sometimes that Auntie Gina got the party started. She was bopping balloons all over and you were laughing so hard - running and jumping. You especially loved when she would bop me on the head with a balloon! To this day, you vividly remember all of these things, and we talk about the memories of Russia often. These memories will be your oldest memories. I pray I can keep them alive for you.

On March 26, 2007, I sat in a tiny room filled with three short pews, four chairs, two attorneys, a translator, and a judge. I was so nervous. This would be the day that I would find out if I were indeed going to be granted full custody of you and your brother. It was one of the most important days of my life. I knew two little blessings needed a mama and a home of their own, and that judge held our futures in her hands. Fortunately for us, she was VERY kind, and it didn't take long for me to finish answering about 50 questions from her and 4 or 5 from the attorney after which she stepped out for what would prove to be the longest 20 minutes of my life!


You know the outcome because as I type this you are sleeping so peacefully next to me tired out from your 5th birthday celebrations! Someday we'll laugh about the infamous haircut that happened during your 4th year of life, and the silly promise I made you! I promised you could sleep in my bed until your hair grew out, and today it has been 5 weeks and counting.

Sophia, you are such an incredible person.Even at just five years old, I have learned SO MUCH from you! You share everything you own. You even give out your last piece of candy. This year on your birthday you told me I could have your biggest present, and you told Zack he could have the smallest one. At your party, after you scared yourself on your new skateboard, you let all of the boys take turns riding it. You are so unselfish.

You have a great personality. You can be a HUGE handful, but you are great company and that energy is going to suit you well throughout life. You know no stranger, and although, I don't let you talk to strangers, you follow my lead. When I welcome someone into my life, you are quick to warm up to them too. You make everyone feel at home, and you love unconditionally. I hope you'll carry that into the future. There are many people in life who do not have this capacity.


You are funny! You say the silliest things at the silliest times! And, when you say, "I love you, mom" I melt inside - especially when you follow it with, "and I like you too"! I have no idea where you picked that line up! You are such a conversationalist. I often ask you if you are still talking, and you say with great exasperation, "YES," and without missing a beat, you go on talking! I have to admit that I am trying to help you to know when it is a good idea to hush, and you do really well at being very quiet in the bookstore and the library. You are a pro!

You love books. You devour 20 or 30 books each time we go the Borders. You methodically go through each one page by page taking in all you can. Then you bring me another stack of books to read to you. You especially like spooky stories and stories of little girls who like to do boy things like skateboard and play baseball. Your favorite books right now are SkippyJonJones hardbacks.


Your face is changing a little more each day. Your chubby cheeks are gone, and your baby face is no more. To me though, you'll ALWAYS be my baby girl, and no matter what the future brings, I pray that you will always know how very deeply I love you and how beyond thankful I am that God led me to travel with Auntie Gina all of those miles away to bring you home.

So, happy birthday my dear girl. This mama loves you now and forever.