I am not one who is fond of depictions of Jesus, but I have grown to like this one. I know that none of us really know what he looked like, but we do know His personality and character. The unconditional sacrificial love He has shown us is like the love of no other. Not even the love I have for Zack and Sophia can compare to how much He loves each one of us.Trust is a tough thing for me. I want to know what is going on and when it will happen. I want to be told that EVERYTHING will be okay and work as planned. I want to know exactly what is around the next corner. Add to all of this that I generally am in a state of planning the next phase of my life.
Right now I find myself feeling completely out of control and needing to trust, but I'll be honest, I'm not good at trusting and am not trusting anyone very much today. I have just declared today my sad day. We all deserve one, right? And, add to that a little bit of angry, and you have my day. Deana's horrible awful terrible day! One thing that I can trust for sure is that no matter how bad my day is Jesus will love me just as much when the pity party has ended.
I can just pray... and I will.
5 comments:
You are TOTALLY allowed to have a pitty party day! I can appreciate your struggle as i am a planner too. But rest assured that God knows your heart and your anxiousness. Continue to take comfort in the fact that He has amazing things in store for you and your little ones.
Oh yeah, and maybe get a pedicure or have some chocolate...those seem to work well too :O)
Hi Deana,
My name is Andrea and I feel your pain completely...I am single and adopting my first child from Moscow City. I traveled November 15th met my beautiful son and still await the release letter so we can file for a court date. I've been keeping up with all of the families currently in Russia completing their adoptions and I truly share their joy, but I want my court date and I want it now. I would love to talk more with you, so if you want to vent some more, here is my email address....keebler1029@yahoo.com
I am praying for you D. I wish I could do more!
I'm with you... I've had so many of those days over the past few months as my adoption went NOWHERE with my former agency. Much happier now, but still tired of all this waiting! At least I know there is an end in sight. And you are farther along the path than me, so hang in there. Your kids are coming home soon.
Deana:
I have been following your blog but this is my first time posting.
We had several long delays in our adoption process and I can not tell you how many "discussions" I had with the Lord re my anxiety, fears and impatience. My Bible verse thru the wait was "Be still and know that I am God" Ps 46:10. No matter how unpredictable and scary the wait was, knowing God was in control helped beyond measure. I have no doubt that God has Zach and Sophia in His loving care until you can travel to bring them home. May He give you peace and comfort during the wait!
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