I was talking to an "old" friend yesterday, and the conversation caused me to think about things I haven't pondered for quite some time. Bear with me as I try to get this out in a way that makes sense! This is one of those posts that only refers to Zack and Sophia in a very round about way.
I was thinking about the pastors I've been under in my lifetime:
Pastor DW: Stole money from the church which caused the church to close.
Pastor LC: Had several affairs and finally after 13 years of ministry at the church was forced to leave. He has sense gone on to pastor several other churches where he has ruined many families.
Pastor MC: Son of Pastor LC. Took over for daddy and "fell" prey to the same downfalls! After ruining several families, moved on to pastor another church.
Pastor JB: Seemed to be above board and full of integrity.
Pastor PC: I acutally taught under him but never attended "his" church; however, he stole millions of dollars from the church and is currently being prosecuted for fraud and money laundering.
All of the above preached the same gospel. They all loved people on some level. They all knew and know the Bible. They were all proclaiming to know exactly how God wanted His people to live their lives, and there are MANY more just like them!
You may think this is where I go off on them and state that Christianity is what's wrong with the world. I don't feel that way. What I do feel; however, is that people are human. There is no person, pastor or not, who is free from blemish or blame for some immoral act whether it be overeating or pride.
What I do question is how pastors go along without any accountability. As for the pastors who had multiple affairs, who was turning a blind eye and WHY? And why when the deacons at one church call the deacons at a new church to warn them about the behaviors, does the new church turn a blind eye and knowingly let the wolf in the doors? Why do Christian counselors enourage these pastors to go back into a field where their greatest weaknesses will be tested?
Why when people see that there is WAY too much money in a pastor's pocket, do they not inquire? Why do they turn a blind eye on the Mercedes, Cadillac and BMW in his driveway. Why when a church runs less than 200, do people not question WHERE all of his money is coming from?
I guess my real question is why have Christians been so beaten down that they don't have the integrity or fortitude to ASK QUESTIONS? In each of the above situations, it was because the pastor did NOT ALLOW questioning. May I suggest, that is the first sign of an unhealthy pastor? Any pastor who does not have an open door policy is questionable at best.
I could be so bitter. I could turn my back on Christianity stating it is full of hypocrisy and contradiction, but rather I choose to separate what Jesus shared as Christianity from the man-made rules and regulations that the aforementioned pastors pushed. I choose to think for myself. I have chosen to get an education! I have chosen to seek God daily and to know Him more. I have been forced to open my eyes; to be a critical thinker.
So how does this relate to Zack and Sophia? Well, I have made a very purposeful decision NOT to knowingly raise them under the leadership of any narcissistic pastor. I have also chosen to teach them to question things and to seek to find answers for themselves. I don't want them just to believe things because someone says it's true. I want them to THINK!!!
Anyhow, you get my drift. I don't want my kids to waste a decade of their lives trying to heal from growing up under men and women who pretend to be perfect only to be exposed.
1 comment:
Good for you! I think the reason the churches turn a blind eye isn't necessarily because the pastors don't allow questions (although that could be part of it). I think it's because people blindly follow the man instead of their faith and instincts. They've stopped questioning and stopped thinking for themselves. The churches that were interviewing these pastors seem to have been under the misguided impression that the pastor had changed his ways and would be different in their church.
I haven't found a church yet where there weren't double standards in which one set of rules were appropriate for the congregation but either the pastor's family was immune or the pastor changed what he preached when his children became teenagers.
It's important for each person to find out their own beliefs and I'm glad that you're giving your children the tools they will need to help them in the future and that you have an open relationship with them so they know that it's okay to ask questions.
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