One Year

Yesterday marked one year since the judge gave me full and legal custody of Zack and Sophia. It seems like they have been home forever! It is hard to remember life without them in it, and it is hard to believe all that has changed in the last year. It has been a very windy road, but one that will lead us to the place we were meant to be of that I am certain.

The biggest change in both of them I would have to say has been the loss of anger. When they first came home, we experienced many occurences of anger. Whether it was Zack flipping someone off in frustration or Sophia clinching her fists and peeing wherever she sat or stood. We definitely saw relieving the need for that anger as a starting point.

Slowly but surely with a lot of love, structure, and discipline, they each began to let go of the anger. I believe that it was a survival mechanism and the more secure they felt, the more they let go of the anger and grabbed hold of the love by which they were surrounded. There is a life lesson to be learned in this, and this mama is taking note.

I can't help but also remember their little sayings as they learned English such as "you too much crazy"! They still call their feet foochies because while in Russia when we'd sniff their feet, we'd say FOOCHIE! They continue to have the connection to that word. Zack has a little accent, but Sophia's is completely gone.

Any who have been around them know they have become little prodders. If you start to eat too quickly, one will say, "We didn't pray." If someone asks them a question while their mouths are full, they will point to their mouth so as to say just a sec. They each have Type A in their personalities and will remind me to get my phone, keys and purse each time we leave the house. They also will remind me to lock the car as we walk away. On those tired mornings or nights when I want to fudge a little, they will remind me about teeth brushing! Sometimes it is crazy because they are keeping me in line (in a respectful way). I think they're going to be well suited for adulthood if this keeps up!

They both speak openly about the Pelican (Zack's orphanage) and the baby home (Sophia's home). They recount how we visited them and list the toys and candy we brought. Zack says, "I was shy". Sophia says, "Remember when Zack popped my BAAAloon"? They recall playing with balloons outside the hotel in Nizhny Novgorod on that crisp day. Zack recalls playing swords with Gina and scaring her to "death" as he giggled from his core. When they see Ring Pops in the store they remind me of how we took them one in Russia. And, they still go down the list of what they did not have there that they do have here.

I think it is important to nurture the memories of their past and of their coming home. It is part of who they are, and I'm sure that with years, their gratitude will grow as they understand fully the concept of what transpired.

Both kids are so lucky to have been loved by so many people this first year home. Their lives have overflowed with generosity, kindness, laughter, and thrills. For that, I am thankful. As we set out to begin this second year home, I wonder what God has in store for us. I wonder what's around the next bend. I choose to believe that it'll be something good. Something that will allow me to testify of God's love and amazing grace.