Parent Teacher Conference

I spoke with Zack's teacher yesterday and thought I'd update my blog for those of you who are passionate about this whole stressful kindergarten thing! And for that matter, for those of you who have not yet sent your child to preschool or kindergarten.

Teacher: Z has shown great progress in his letters.
Me: Wow, that is great. For some reason, I had imagined he was behind.
Teacher: Well, he could be doing better, but he tested out average and knows all of his letters and sounds.
Me: I am fine with him being average, but please tell me what would make you feel that he was doing well with his letters?
Teacher: He should be reading by now, and he struggles reading the words. He also should be writing sentences.
Me: Okay, that helps me to see that he is clearly average according to the kindergarten standards. At home, he does read one syllable words very well. Sentences are tough for him though.
Teacher: Yes, you said he seems to learn by phonics much better than by phonemics. I try using phonics with him as able, and you are right, he responds better.
Me: Yes, this is likely due to his newly acquired language skills. His mind is more mechanical so he needs to see and understand the parts that create the whole word.
Teacher: I totally agree. He'd likely be reading well if the curriculum were phonics based.
Me: (not spoken aloud) So, he is falling into the average category because the teaching style does not cover his best learning modality????
Me: What about his numbers? Last time we spoke he was not able to count past 13 when you asked him to do so aloud.
Teacher: He can count aloud to 39 now. He needs to count to 100 and be able to write his numbers at least up to 20 without error.
Me: This is strange because he can count to 100 at home very easily and quickly. I wonder if part of this issue is that he freezes up when he is nervous.
Teacher: This could be the problem. I'll ask him tomorrow to count for me when the other students aren't in the class.
Me: (not spoken aloud) Great idea... You have Z how many hours a day, and you don't know that he wants so badly to get things correct that he freezes when put on the spot in front of others? Yes, please try the mode of asking him alone and setting him at ease.
Teacher: Perhaps he can count to 100 after all.
Me: Yes, he can. I realize he needs to get over his freezing when he is afraid to get something wrong, but this will take a little more time as part of this problem is tied to language acquisition.
Teacher: I can see that.
Me: In email, you suggested that he be retained in kindergarten. I am wondering why we would make such a decision at the half way point of the school year. It sounds like his letters and numbers are average. How is he doing socially and emotionally?
Teacher: He fits right in with the class and makes and keeps friends very easily.
Me: That matches up with how he is at home. He is very social and gregarious.
Teacher: The reason I suggest he be retained is his attention span. When I read stories, he loses interest midway, and I have to redirect him. He responds well to the redirection so it is easy to keep him with the story.
Me: That is concerning as he needs to pay attention to understand the story. He does come home and relay to me many stories you read, but perhaps he is missing parts.
Teacher: I think he'd so well with another year in kinder based on his stature as well. He is a bit shorter than the other kids.
Me: (not out loud) That really has NOTHING to do with this conference. I know many men who have had growth spurts in jr. high or high school and in one case, college!
Teacher: It may help him to fit in better.
Me: Socially though, you said he fits in well. Does his height seem to bother him?
Teacher: No, there are three other boys his same size in our class of 20.
Me: For me, his height will not be a deciding factor in the decision whether or not to retain him. If he does stay on the shorter side, he can still succeed. (And, trust you me, this mom will do what she can to ward off any Napoleon complex that may rear its ugly head!)
Teacher: Yes, his height would not be enough to hold him back besides he is only about 2 inches shorter and not the shortest in the class.
Me: What about the list of sight words? How is he doing on those at school?
Teacher: He is doing fine. Do you have the list?
Me: Only one I found online.
Teacher: I'll send you my list so you can see the exact words we are learning.
Me: Sounds great. So, let me make sure I understand this right. Zack is average in his letters and numbers. He is socially and emotionally on target. He is a little shorter than the other kids his age. He needs to work on writing his numbers, reading with more ease, writing sentences, and paying attention during story time.
Teacher: Yes, and add to that being able to answer questions about the stories. He is hit or miss on this.
Me: Okay, I've added that to the list, and we will work on it.
Teacher: So, would you like me to file the paperwork to have him retained?
Me: No, I am not sure this is the best route just yet. I would like to give him some more time to progress due to the language acquisition. I am not convinced that holding him back is necessary.
Teacher: Okay, just let me know.

This was the conversation as I remember it. I should tell you as well that I don't see his teacher as a problem at all. However, I have learned to see benefit in a new rule regarding teacher preparation. It is now required that all teachers in Z's school district be ESL trained. I truly believe that if Z's teacher were trained or had experience with ESL, she would better understand not only his learning style, but also his weaknesses. This training, no doubt, would make her job easier in this case because while Zack speaks great English, he does not always understand what is being asked of him or all English words. There are MANY words that come up day to day that are new to him. Suitcase was a new one last week. Brain freeze was another. The list goes on and on. I can see how he is still trying to fully connect with English.

From this conference, I created a list of action items:

More story time at home with all four kids together. This will give Z a chance to build his attention span in a similar environment to school. Simply reading to him alone gives him little else to pay attention to so I must give him some potential distractions so I can work with him better.

Grandma will teach him to write his numbers 1-20 correctly. She has a super fun way of teaching this which involves a ton of fun and singing. She taught Kindergarten for 20+ years so Z will benefit greatly. BTW- 50% of her kids were ESL so she has a handle on the language barrier even after a kid seems completely fluent.

While it would be easy to say I will teach him to read via phonics, this wouldn't be true. WE (me and the fam who loves Z so much) will all begin teaching him how to read using phonics. This will be done inadvertently mostly, but I'm thinking of pulling a "The Color Purple" on him. Remember the scene where she writes the names of things on cards and tapes them to every item in the house? I think Zack will resonate with this. The only change I'll make is highlighting the blends in the words.

As far as his height, I don't see that as an issue. This kid is confident and driven to succeed. I am more concerned about his feeling little successes daily as we get him to the academic level where he should be.

I will dictate short sentences for him to write at first and gradually get him to the point of creating and writing his own sentences. This will help with his attention span as well.

The last action item that has come from this conference is that I will be meeting with the kindergarten teacher at the school where I will be teaching. I will be getting a very clear understanding of what he would need to know in order to finish kindergarten well. Then in June, I'll ask if she'll "test" him and give me her opinion. This will help since it is very likely that he'll attend the school where I am teaching next year.

It is not important to me that Z stay in kindergarten just to stay in kindergarten. What is important to me is that he not have to stay behind unless it is truly necessary. Zack says at least 10 times a week that he'll be in first grade next year. I know that kids are resilient as is Zack, but I also know my son well enough to know that he'll intrinsically know that if he did better, he'd be in first. Of course, if I do hold him back, I will be armed with a plethora of great reasons all of which will be used to convince Zack that he did well.

Lastly, the teacher never suggested any kind of tutoring or additional help at school such as an ESL program. I believe that this is because he is doing average work.

As a side note, remember this is the kid who can put together a 300 piece puzzle in three sittings - of his own volition. This combined with his social skills leads me to believe that, in life, he's gonna be just fine.

Is it summer yet???????