soul searching

Well, this past week was the last week of school for the boys before Christmas break. They now have two weeks off, and they're jazzed! Auntie Gina comes in on Sunday night to spend Christmas week here in Texas! The kids are SUPER jazzed about that. They have all made pictures for her and playdough figures. It's interesting because even though we've been living here since mid-August and Gina has visiting at least monthly, the kids don't miss a beat when she walks through the door. It will be nice to see them have some fun together.

This week, Zack was home two days with a fever, belly ache, headache. Sophia now has what he had. I am praying that it doesn't go through the whole bunch, but I do have a bit of a belly ache and headache myself. We'll see if the fever begins.

Tomorrow Stepha leaves for CA for Tori's christening. She was chosen as the god mother. I am not bitter at all! She is looking forward to that, and I hope to see pictures when she returns.

Other than that this week has been one of a bit of drama and soul searching. Lots of thinking about the future and about what is working and what may not be working. Also, lots of time to reflect on many good memories of the past 5 years or so of life, and also reflection on decisions made that perhaps could have been different. You know the whole hindsight is 20/20 thing.

It's never much fun to look back and make a list of boo boos we've made, but sometimes it is necessary to get back on track. I think that I stepped out into some endeavors and let the momentum carry me failing to make sure my decisions were made with mind and heart instead of just my heart. I also learned that even strong independent people go through some times of being abased. But, then one must pull themselves up by the bootstraps and create change.

I have also learned that I like to know the future. I'll bet many who read this are like that as well. I am one to plan, plot, and trod along towards a goal just about all of the time. I've decided that this has created undue stress in my life. Sometimes, I just need to rest in the moment and time I am in, and seek God for the answer to the next step because plan as I might, things may not turn out the way I want them to no matter how hard I try.

There are many other things I have been learning this week for sure, but too numerous to list. Life is a work in progress; a journey to be enjoyed not to be afraid of and a time to embrace those who love you, and to share your life with those you love always remembering never to lose yourself in the mix. People respect people of strength and courage.

So, as I enter Christmas week; the first with Zack and Sophia, I pray the Lord bring peace to my heart and to our home. I pray that he give me the courage to be true to myself while loving others. I pray that He allow me to think with mind and heart. I pray that as I ponder on that babe in a manger, I remember the drama he went through to get down here to earth.

Sometimes from dramatic experiences peace can be found. That, my friend, is my hope this season as I watch all four of the kids opening their presents with bright happy faces.

Stay tuned for a report as to how the Lord leads our lives.