The First Pics...

Here are the first pics of Zack and Sophia. There are no other pictures of my two Russian angels prior to these two. Sometimes I am sad that I missed out on their baby years and wasn't able hold them, feed them, cuddle them...take pictures of them, but I realize that at some point in time their biological mother must have loved them enough to want them in her life. This thought stems from the fact that these are the pics taken of each when they entered the orphanage system. The story behind that entry is theirs to tell, but I hope that the precious girl that gave birth to them knows down deep that her babies are in good hands.

Sophia has no recollection of anything before the orphanage. Zack may but has never spoken of a mama prior to me. He has recounted many stories from the Pelican (orphanage), but he has never told stories of his life before then.

Some day, I plan to locate their bio mom and send her a letter with pictures, but that will have to be much later as it costs money to do this type of search. There are many costs involved in post adoption life! Some anticipated and some not...

So look at these two emotionless faces of two kids who had to have been scared and insecure and rejoice with me that those blank faces now have HUGE smiles!!!! And, even more important is that their hearts are full of love!

On the haircut note, I simply can't let Kenny go any longer w/o a haircut. As of today, he is looking homeless!

Old Year's Resolution

I resolove to throw the pumpkin in my front yard away before 2008!

I also resolve to sell any furniture I don't need before 2008 - done! Thank the good Lord for Craig's List. I highly recommend it. Posted a bunch of stuff, and it all sold in a day!

Christmas pics to come at some point. Poor Sophia was super sick so it was bittersweet. She opened each gift with a tiny grin and with a labored move, she stacked the present on top of the next. Strangely enough, they were all Dora gifts! What can I say? My little Russian loves Mexicans, and it's a good thing cause her mama is one!

Zack enjoyed opening each gift and excitedly opened every gift he got by day's end. I usually monitor the opening of stuff more closely so that nothing gets lost, but I was much more laid back this year. Missing pieces abound.

Sophia is on the mend and back to her boisterous, sassy self. I am so glad because I missed her little personality!!!!

I hope you all had a great Christmas!

Please keep my friend Wanda Jo in your prayers as she is having gastric bypass surgery on New Year's Eve. I pray that all goes well, and that the weight loss brings her health and adds to her already happy life!

Sophia is Sick

Well, as I said in a previous post, Zack's illness passed on to Sophia. The bummer is that it has hit Sophia much harder. My bouncy full of life girl is lethargic, feverish, and just plain old sick. Yesterday her fever had broken so I took the kids to McDonalds to eat and play. It only took about 10 minutes before she was just lying in my arms as the other kids played around her. If you know Sophia like I think you do, this is HIGHLY unusual.

She has been sleeping with me each night, and she keeps her precious little hot head on me at all times. She has become a little cuddle bug which has not been the case in the past! Last night I had a mommy moment as I looked down at her sleeping face, felt her hot head, and began to cry. I just feel so bad for her going through this. It is her first illness since she came home in April, and I'm acting like a first time mom, huh?

Anyhow, today is sure to be eventful. Steph is in the sky on her way to CA. Gina will soon be in the sky on her way to TX. We here in TX will be scurrying around to get the house cleaned up in time for the Christmas celebration on Tuesday.

Merry Christmas Season or as the schools out here taught Zack and Josh - Happy Holidays! Boy, do I hate that! It is Christmas for Pete's sake. I don't like that my kid has been trained to overlook that fact by celebrating the holidays rather than Christmas! What's next?

soul searching

Well, this past week was the last week of school for the boys before Christmas break. They now have two weeks off, and they're jazzed! Auntie Gina comes in on Sunday night to spend Christmas week here in Texas! The kids are SUPER jazzed about that. They have all made pictures for her and playdough figures. It's interesting because even though we've been living here since mid-August and Gina has visiting at least monthly, the kids don't miss a beat when she walks through the door. It will be nice to see them have some fun together.

This week, Zack was home two days with a fever, belly ache, headache. Sophia now has what he had. I am praying that it doesn't go through the whole bunch, but I do have a bit of a belly ache and headache myself. We'll see if the fever begins.

Tomorrow Stepha leaves for CA for Tori's christening. She was chosen as the god mother. I am not bitter at all! She is looking forward to that, and I hope to see pictures when she returns.

Other than that this week has been one of a bit of drama and soul searching. Lots of thinking about the future and about what is working and what may not be working. Also, lots of time to reflect on many good memories of the past 5 years or so of life, and also reflection on decisions made that perhaps could have been different. You know the whole hindsight is 20/20 thing.

It's never much fun to look back and make a list of boo boos we've made, but sometimes it is necessary to get back on track. I think that I stepped out into some endeavors and let the momentum carry me failing to make sure my decisions were made with mind and heart instead of just my heart. I also learned that even strong independent people go through some times of being abased. But, then one must pull themselves up by the bootstraps and create change.

I have also learned that I like to know the future. I'll bet many who read this are like that as well. I am one to plan, plot, and trod along towards a goal just about all of the time. I've decided that this has created undue stress in my life. Sometimes, I just need to rest in the moment and time I am in, and seek God for the answer to the next step because plan as I might, things may not turn out the way I want them to no matter how hard I try.

There are many other things I have been learning this week for sure, but too numerous to list. Life is a work in progress; a journey to be enjoyed not to be afraid of and a time to embrace those who love you, and to share your life with those you love always remembering never to lose yourself in the mix. People respect people of strength and courage.

So, as I enter Christmas week; the first with Zack and Sophia, I pray the Lord bring peace to my heart and to our home. I pray that he give me the courage to be true to myself while loving others. I pray that He allow me to think with mind and heart. I pray that as I ponder on that babe in a manger, I remember the drama he went through to get down here to earth.

Sometimes from dramatic experiences peace can be found. That, my friend, is my hope this season as I watch all four of the kids opening their presents with bright happy faces.

Stay tuned for a report as to how the Lord leads our lives.

Proud Auntie, A Sick Boy, and Bangs

Ken had his first band concert this evening. It was great fun for him and Zack, Josh, and I as well. It was cute when he got home he said, "D, buying the band shirt was such a waste of money." "It isn't made very well, and it looks dorky." "I think it will end up being pajamas."

The funny thing is that I didn't think it was hugely bad. I mean it's not my style, but I didn't even realize Ken had reached the age of caring what his t-shirts looked like! Watch out Gina, he's nearly officially a teenager and in many ways, already acting like one! There is no bad attitude or selfishness though. Perhaps he'll skip that phase - fingers crossed.

Kenny played the "drum pad," the bells and some other instrument you hit with sticks. He did well on all three, and I could tell he was proud we four were there to watch from about a yard or two away! I video taped it for Gina Marie. She, the mama drummer, is sure to be proud.

And, here is Zack talking to Auntie Gina:

Gina: "I hope you feel better."
Zack: "I am not better because I am sick."

Zack has a fever, headache, cough, and runny nose. He just wanted to be in my arms at the concert. He ended up lying on the cold tile next to me because I needed to take pics and video of Ken. It is a juggling act sometimes, but well worth it. I'm glad Ken has had the chance to do the Texas thing because he has done smashingly well this year in everything he has put his hands and mind to.

And, here is the first sign that mom is pinching pennies! I cut Sophia's bangs today. They're fairly straight, but a wee bit shorter than I anticipated!!!! :)

Sophia: "Mom, can I sleep in Stepha's room"?
Mom: "If Stepha asked, sure."
Sophia: "She did ask." "Mom close your eyes." (she disappeared)
Sophia: "Mom, open your eyes." "Here is my popcorn." "You can eat it all if you like."
Mom: "Thank you so much"!
Sophia: "Sank you for letting me sleep with Stepha."
Mom: "Oh, sweetie, you can take your popcorn upstairs."
Sophia: "No, mom." "I said it is for you."

I can' tell you how much joy this little girl has brought me in the last couple of days. Eight and a half months ago, it was a bumpy start with Sophia who was SUPER strong willed and even more SNEAKY. Now, the personality traits that used to be exposed in those poor behaviors are exposed in positive ways - she TELLS me emphatically "I said it was for you" (strong willed) and she says "close your eyes" (to sneak it to me). This, to me, is very cool. I love you Sophia Joy!!!!

Kid Talk

A full fruit basket makes the kids SO HAPPY! For them, the "basket" holds the key to taking away growing pains, colds, shortness, and a lack of muscles. They dig in mostly 'cause they love the taste, but also because they want to grow tall and strong (and go on roller coasters)!

Lucky for me, the kids LOVE Ramen! I dress it up with fresh fruits and veggies on the side - carrots, broccoli, apple slices and Clementine slices. Then they chase that down with a sugar cookie and some chocolate ice cream.

Josh: "I'm gonna eat my veggies last because in my stomach, I want them to be on top of the stuff that is not good for my body"!

Notice, Zack has two drinks! Milk so he can grow taller for roller coasters and water to quench his thirst! Crazy kid for sure!

A rare appearance of Kenny in front of the camera! Also, beginning now, no haircuts until the end of the school year. The boys have been begging for long hair which neither Gina or I care for, but I asked her if she'd mind the boys joining Zack in becoming a hippie to get it out of their systems, and she thought it was a fine idea. I don't think they are going to be fond of having to wet and comb it every morning once it is long enough for bed head. So, we'll see how long we make it, but I'm pretty committed to letting it go until mid May. Could I possibly have the next "Hansons" on my hands?

Here is some of the conversation that came up at dinner last night:

Sophia: "Where are we going"? "Where are we going"? "Where are we going"?

Uncle Jerry: "To the moon"!
Sophia: "You are lying." "Your truck can't fly."

Uncle Jerry: "Sophia, come downstairs." "You are too loud so please sit here with me for a few minutes."
Sophia (looking up at the landing): "Well, your house is open." "My mama's house is closed."

Mama: "Sophia, I missed you so much"!
Sophia: "I missed you too." "Where is Auntie Gina"?

Josh: "D, can we go and see Santa"? "Ummmm...."
D: "Sure."
Josh: "Well, ummmm, I don't really need to go." "Ummmm...yes, I do."

Zack: "Mom, how did you know what to get me."
Mom: silent
Steph: "Santa told your mom what to go and buy." "He had a list for her."
Zack: "Stepha, how will you know"?

This one's for Rosie! When did you shrink?

Back to the Same Old

I'm back in Texas. The kids didn't miss a beat without me! That was great to see. All are very happy with many stories to share about their week at school, outings with Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julie, basketball games, and Christmas cheers.

I'm back but oh so blue wondering how long it will be before I feel I belong somewhere. This place in life will likely go down as a valley. I could be wrong of course, but this is likely not a mountain top year for me. How horrible is that to say when I brought Zack and Sophia home this year? That was the true highlight! Having them come home and seeing it change not only their lives, but also our entire family's lives in a positive way. I wouldn't change that for the world.

There will be a New Year's resolution for me this year which will be to get back to taking life by the horns and making it work for me.

Sitting here longing and hoping for something better is no way to live. I found myself in the airports yesterday looking around thinking either all of these people around me fake life much better than I do OR everyone around me is happy, and I need some pills!!!! This while pushing back tears so as to avoid stares! Who knows maybe someone else would have found comfort in my sadness.

It is likely that a certain percentage were indeed happy with the season and all, that another percentage are already on happy pills, and some were just as unhappy as I was! This is the logical side of me speaking.

You see, I am a blue which means I'm more of a feeler than some other personality types. I think that perhaps, at times, I just plain out feel things much more deeply than I should. Is there a cure for that? Is it possible just to take life in stride and not succumb to the tough parts through which we must traverse?

I can say I have learned much in the last few months of my life:

Nothing in life is certain.

Certain decisions lead to hardship, but the decisions were still good. (strange I know) I'm not sure Martin Luther regretted nailing the 95 thesis to the church door when he was standing trial for breaking the law or when he later was alledgedly whisked away into the night on a horse. I wonder if he thought he could have more discreetly handled the outing of the falsehoods taught by the Catholic church? Perhaps. Some things just need to be done, and the pieces picked up after the good has transpired. What follows those tough decisions can lead to reformation.

Other decisions when they involve other people keeping their word, are not wise to make because some people not only don't mean what they say, but also don't even mean what they do!!! Life gets confusing when this happens. Fortunately, no one that I love has pulled the rug out from under me like this. Just some I foolishly trusted.

Saving lives is always worth it, and giving even one adolescent kid a year of knowing he can succeed at life is priceless.

Working a mundane meaningless job you hate is no way to live, but getting to live and work in an area you are passionate about takes much work and perseverence. (I think it will be worth it in the long run FOR SURE.)

Pride is something that must be thrown out the window when you must make decisions for the well being of your kids day by day.

I firmly believe that God never gives us any trial we can't handle. I find comfort in that. Has anyone ever found a fast forward button in life? How horrible is it to want time to pass at the speed of light for say um a year or so?

In closing on this very cold Texas morning, I enjoyed Gina's graduation and after party very much! We had good times for sure! Watching her turn her tassle and walk across that stage to get her degree from Biola University symbolized much for me. She set what seemed like an insurmountable goal four years ago, and she reached that goal smashingly. That, my friend, was inspiring to me and many others I'm sure.

I found myself visiting the future and hearing the kids names as they will cross that stage. It just made me realize that lives are so precious, and accomplishments are to be celebrated in a big way now and for years to come!!!! There is so much joy that the future will hold, and all of the joy for Z and S will happen because of that cold day nearly a year ago, when I signed on the dotted line. I sacraficed much, but anything I have given up, pales in comparison to the future they now have.

May I somehow muster up some joy today so that I can share that with them, Josh and Ken!

Hello from California!

I am in California so there will be a hiatus in posting pictures of the kiddos. They are happily playing at Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julie's house. I debated bringing them along, but it is just such a long trip for them and I would need to find a sitter here for the events I am attending here in CA. So, I felt it was in their best interest to stay home where they could play and Zack would not miss any school.

Gina turned 40 on Wednesday, graduates from Biola University on Friday and celebrates both in a big way on Saturday night!!! We are all looking forward to the fun. It will be great to have a good time with "old" friends!

Being back in California after being in Texas for so long has caused me to realize a few things:

First of all, I love palm trees and miss them.

Secondly, it is way too fast here! Why is everyone speeding, running, pushing....

Thirdly, it is true that people in Texas are a lot more friendly, but some Californians I dealt with today were quite nice - the lady at Home Depot chatted with me as I checked out, and the guy at Traders Joe's approved of the items in my cart. So, most Californians don't have five minute conversations with strangers, but that is just it - in TX, there is no such thing as a stranger!

Fourthly (he he), I realized that in this part of CA, the goal is to cover every square inch with some building that will bring in revenue. In TX, wide open land is still desireable. There are many big open parcels that are meant to be just that big open spaces.

Lastly, I find that after living in TX for nearly five months, this is really no longer home. Texas isn't home either. Moving has just made me realize more that home is wherever those I love are. Right now, home for me is Texacali!!!

Today was the first snow day in CA!!! You have to love a place where it only takes an hour to get to the beach, dessert, mountains or city!!!! I do miss that - and the mountains!

Have a great weekend!

Christmases Past!

First, we begin with 2004 - 2006 Group Shots:

Oh my goodness, these kids have grown!

Do you recognize the pjs Josh is wearing? They are the ones Zack is wearing this year! And, Kaylie and Josh are still this close! They have made it clear, however, that they will not marry!

I don't remember this pic, but that there is a great smile. How in the world did Gina's hair get that straight???

Okay, well, I will hear about posting pics of the sisters wtih no makeup, but all in the spirit of the holiday season!

As for this pic, Mike should never call another dude a girl again! HA HA HA HA! He looks so young and innocent!

And, here's grandma 2 1/2 years before she'd become babushka!

Now, for Christmas of 2005:

The four youngest Riveras and mom after her 11th knee surgery!

Proof that the quiet Rivera girls can get crazy!

Cuteness! Another, outfit Zack now wears!

I miss this laugh! My mom is a kick and a half!

A tripod - OMW! I will use it twice in the next 2 years! LOL

Christmas Eve 2005 - the infamous I DID NOT WET MY PANTS PIC. LOL

That there is the dad - can you see where we get our outgoing personalities? This is grandpa pre Zack and Sophia. He is in pretty bad shape now, but sends gifts to the kids often and already sent all of the Christmas gifts for this year. Thanks pops!

Christmas 2006:

A fake gift that Mike thought was really his! He scored with Lakers tickets, and iPod, Jordan XXIIs and a stereo system.

Um, Stephanie (not yet stepha was tired)!

Josh has always had a crush on Victoria! And, here unbeknownst to Victoria, she is expecting Torie AnnMarie!!!

And, shortly after all of these 2006 Christmas pictures were taken, Gina and I boarded a plan for Moscow and then another to Nizhny Novgorod, Russia to meet a four year old boy and his three year old sister housed in two separate orphanages. This is all we knew before we left.

First we arrived in Moscow:

Then Nizhny Novgorod...it wasn't too cold - 14 degrees. Not as cold as Chicago most winter days!

This is a picture that was taken on the pedestrian street in Nizhny.

This picture was taken on our first bitterly cold drive to Vyska from Nizhny. It was a three hours drive each way and a day of no food or water! It was much colder than 14 degrees and there were holes in the floorboard of the car.

This is in the town square. A Christmas tree - but not to celebrate as we do. Russia has never fully recoverd the celebration of Christmas since communist rule did away with Christmas in 1917.

This was along the pedestrian street. Lots of Putin propaganda posted here and there.

This is me before I entered the orpanage to meet who we know now as Sophia.

And, once inside we walked up some creeky steep steps that looked unsafe to a stifling hot, big pink playroom. And, this is who we met!

This next pic is Zack's orphanage called Pelican. It looks nice on the outside but was in very ill repair inside! It was smelly and looked unsafe. Zack was the first orhpan to leave this orphanage. Eighty plus other orphans aging 5 to 17 were in need of families too. Their faces are forever etched in my mind. I was not allowed to take pictures.

And, this is who we met inside those doors.

This was Zack's only wish for the holiday season - a sword. He spent an entire hour scaring Aunti Gina with it! We could not understand a word he was saying, but we recognized the growl and giggle. Zack said later that he broke his sword shortly after we left! He now has about seven swords.

These next pictures are my favorites - the first is the long road to Vyska. The second is the gate that we last exited when we became a family. It is the gate at the orphanage that housed Sophia and 78 other orphans NEEDING FAMILIES.

Please pray for the orphans all over the world, and pray for the people here in the states longing to adopt one or two but are not blessed with the money to do so.

My prayer is that churches will begin to see this as a field ripe unto harvest. We support missionaries, but most churches don't financially support giving orphans homes. These orphans could very well be the next Charles Spurgeon, Billy Sunday, Billy Graham, D.L. Moody, or simply a missionary to their own neighborhoods. And, as a side note, the Bible says clearly that TRUE RELIGION is this - helping the widows and orphans and keeping yourself out of sin (paraphrase for sure), but it IS in the Bible nonetheless just as clear as that! It costs approximately $40,000 to adopt one child from Russia. That number scares away and eleminates many who have the heart to adopt. The cost is exorbant, but it is what it is, and we as Christians should be helping to fund foreign adoption just as we support missionaries to foreign lands.

At my Christian workplace, they donate funds to missions trips to Mexico to build houses, to New Orleans to help with Katrina victims, but they do not find adopting orphans to be missionary work. That there was the most disappointing statement I heard while employed there, and it is FAR FROM THE TRUTH or the Scriptures are false. There is something seriously wrong with that mentality, and I hope that someday it changes for the sake of those needing forever homes.

If you could hear my two sing about Jesus or pray for dinner or inquire about Christmas, your heart would melt, and you'd know for sure, WE as christians HAVE TO DO MORE!!!!!

Look at those faces, and praise God with me for His provision. Then take a moment to pray for the others and ask God what you might do to help. It pains me greatly to imagine where these two would be had I not said that very prayer about 5.5 long years ago. It was about the time Zack was conceived that the Lord began knocking on my heart's door. If you can't bring a child home, maybe you can help someone else to do so. It is not about having kids as ornaments but about saving lives.

Snoozing and Basketball

This is what I found in my bed last night!

Looking at them sleeping, I can see how similar their faces are. Zack is just so tan!

Here is Zack's basketball team.

This is his first experience with basketball. His first game went pretty well. He was indeed very driven on the court. The only downside was he kept stealing the ball from his own teammates!!!! I could tell he was confused, and since he doesn't understand as quickly as a kid who has fully mastered English, he wasn't picking up on what the coach was nicely yelling.

As you can see, his coach is a police officer. Zack found this to be very cool. And, for those who wonder, he does carry a baton.

I've been working with Zack a little today on his dribbling and shooting. He can stop and pop now. Strangely enough this little leftie prefers to dribble and shoot right handed. I am thinking he may be great for baseball. We shall see what he enjoys the most.

It has been a slow weekend. Steph took the kids to the parade on Saturday and today she took them to some indoor amusement pizza place in Plano. They had a blast!

She doesn't have a camera so I didn't get any pics from their activities. If you could see the size of my camera, you'd know why she chooses not to take it!

This Wednesday I leave for a trip to California. Auntie Gina is celebrating her 40th birthday and her graduation from Biola!! So, I'll get to have some fun with a bunch of my former colleagues.

I also get to have dinner with my friend, Claudia who I haven't see for more than a decade. I am so excited to get to catch up with her again!

It is so crazy now days. With MySpace, Blogs, Google and such, it is so easy to make contact with old friends and even easier for teenagers never to lose contact with their high school friends. I can remember graduating and being so sad that I'd lose contact with my friends once I moved to Chicago for Bible college. Truth is Hyles Anderson likely doesn't allow laptops with wireless connection, but you get my drift. In this day and age, keeping in touch is a lot easier.

For those I left in CA, you all have been able to follow Zack and Sophia's daily lives since my departure. Isn't that cool?

The kids will be with Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julie for a week, and they are JAZZED about it! I am missing them already but looking forward to some grownup interaction for sure!

Cute conversation from today:

Zack: "Mom, I think I am in trouble."

Mom: "Why"?

Zack: "I was going to scare Josh, and when I said boo, he was standing close to me."

Mom: "And"?

Zack: "My tongue touched his lip"!!!!

Mom: "Oh my word"! "You are not in trouble you crazy dude."

Mom: "Are you going to do it again"?

Zack: "No WAY, that is gross"!!!

Mom: "Good answer"!

Sophia: "Mom, where is Josh on my nose"? (translation: Is Josh as tall as my nose?)

Have a great Monday!