Precious Ones

It is 3:30AM, and I am wide awake. I have been sleeping from about 7:00PM until 2:30AM each night and that’s about it! I don’t feel bad though. I guess I am living on the high of knowing that Zack and Sophie will not have to spend their lives in the orphanages. Praise God for that!

When we arrive at Zack’s orphanage each day there are about 5 boys who look to be between 8 and 13 standing on either side of the porch to the entrance. As we walk through them, I can see the wonder in their eyes and the hope that they hold that someone might come for them one day. They are very polite and speak to us each day. I am imagining they are saying good morning or good afternoon. They look us in the eyes as they speak and smile.

It really breaks my heart. The phrase “ignorance is bliss” has taken on new meaning for me. I wish I did not know the statistics of children raised in Russian orphanages. Truth is that it is likely that one of these boys will commit suicide and the rest will live a life of drug and alcohol abuse because they will not be able to function in a society that sees them as less than worthy. I keep reminding myself to focus on what I can do instead of how much more needs to be done. Pray with me for these children.

There are many who come to Russia to adopt so that they can have a family, but few come to rescue the less wanted older orphan children. I have to admit that I was just a bit saddened that Zack and Sophie are over 2 years old, but I know now beyond a shadow of a doubt that God brought these kids into my life, and something tells me that I will learn more from them than they will from me! God generally seems to work that way, huh?

The drive to the orphanage was not unpleasant because I played a trick with my mind and told myself that I must listen to four CDs all the way through on my iPod before we arrived. So, I listened to Green Day American Idiot (sorry Amykins), Stellar Kart (awesome alternative Christian band), Third Day, and half of Willy Porter (awesome artist). Before I knew it, we were there! The mind is a curious thing and distractions are WONDERFUL!

Speaking of “American Idiot,” it is so crazy how traveling can widen one’s worldview. Mine has expanded exponentially on this trip. I can remember learning and teaching about the Soviet Union and the trap of Communism. It was a very rote lesson. I never took the time, beyond a surface level, to think about the people affected by it or who supported it. Now that I am here, and I actually hear my interpreter say phrases like, “During Soviet rule…” I realize that it was very real, and communism has left a trail behind it.

Surely I digress from what you are here to read about! Today I went to see Sophie first! We walked into the orphanage out of a very snowy day, up the stairs where we took off our shoes, and into the playroom where we heard many kids playing, crying, and clamoring about. I have not been allowed to see any of the other children at Sophie’s orphanage, but from what I can hear, there are at least 30 or 40 behind those closed doors. Tomorrow, I get to watch their holiday program! I can’t take pics, but I am thrilled to get to see the little ones and clap for them!

It was in these first few minutes that on a document written completely in Russian, I wrote the following by hand:

I, Deana Rivera, agree to adopt (birth name, which cannot be used on a blog) born September 29, 2003.

Deana Marie Rivera December 28, 2006.

I wrote this on three original documents and then I heard the pitter pat of her tiny little feet! The door opened and there she was! She hurried over and jumped up into my arms and held on so tight! She spoke to me, and I imagine she was saying hello and please don’t leave again. She is as light as a feather! We played for an hour or so and enjoyed every minute of it. We have great fun playing with a balloon which she loves to hit around to each other. She also enjoys hitting it at Gina who makes her famous crazy faces and has Sophie laughing. The unveiling of the doll Wanda bought her was the hit of the visit. She threw that balloon down so fast and went right into mommy mode. It was the sweetest thing ever! She sang a whole song to her baby as she rocked her. Later with tears I told her, “This is what mommies are supposed to do sweet Sophie girl.”

I traced her foot for size and dressed her in some clothes I brought. She acted like my Kaylie Anne Marie who is a clothes hound! Sophie was in heaven. She, Kaylie and Josh will be fast friends as they tell me what clothes and shoes they want next! I brought a little brush and hair things and Sophie insisted that every hair band go in her hair at once! So, I made her happy by giving her a Spice Girl hairdo! Just about then her tutor opened the door slowly and said in Russian, “Sophie, it is time to go now.” Sophie looked at me and smiled and very obediently walked over to the tutor who told Sophie it was okay to go back and give me a hug and a kiss. She did and looked back at me the whole time she walked back through that door. She is an angel.

Next we were off to Zack’s orphanage were we met in a very small office again. It is a little tough to play with a boy in such small quarters, but it doesn’t hold him back a bit. He came in with a great big smile and bright eyes. He had been asking his tutor who I was and what my name was and if I would come back again. When they told him I was his momma, he had the biggest smile and sparkle in his eyes. It just melted my heart. I realize that because he will be five in April his chances of being adopted were slim to none, and I had second thoughts at first as well. I am so glad I decided to go on faith and trust God.

He brought his coloring book and crayons back and jumped right into coloring with me. He is so darn focused when he puts his mind to something. His coloring is outstanding for his age. To get him out of his shell a little bit more, we pulled out a balloon and then we had great boy fun bopping it around and yes, hitting Gina on the head with it. Her faces made him double over in laughter. Such and awesome sound! I couldn’t help but think about God’s love for us and the joy he gets in seeing His children happy!

At one point Zack darted out of the room, and I alerted the tutor. She quickly went after him. The interpreter let me know that he had gone out to gloat to his group about his new momma. So amazing and so sad all at once… The emotions are high on this trip but not too much drama. You all know me. Leave it to Gina to notice the tears! I should insert here that Gina has been an incredible help on this trip. She has taken all of the pics and also taken all of the notes during my many important meetings regarding the kids. I can’t wait until she is helping me take them home soon.

I traced Zack’s foot and it is just about the size of Sophie’s! They are very close in size. Sophie is quite tall for her age and Zack is about a size smaller than he should be, but I know they are both going to fill out and grow with good food and loving.

Zack’s orphanage director told me that the free dentist to the orphanages does not use anesthetics! His teeth, all baby of course, do need work and fillings, etc… I will pay to have a Russian dentist clean his teeth while I am back in the states so that he will not have substandard painful care. Taking him directly to a dentist in the US would be very scary for him since he does not know the language. I’m sure, however, that Dr. Noble (my most wonderful dentist) will be pleased to meet him and bring his teeth back to a normal state of health. Sophie’s teeth are perfect although she will get a check up too.

Zack and I played with bubbles and had great fun after which his tutor told him it was time for lunch. He requested very politely to skip lunch! They let him stay for about 15 more minutes. When it was time to go, he immediately and happily obeyed his tutor who loves him dearly. I can see it in her eyes. He ran back hugged and kissed me and requested to see me again tomorrow! He is so precious! His big blue eyes melt my heart!

I will admit that on the way back to the hotel, my stomach was in knots. This is such a HUGE undertaking. What am I thinking? Can I do this? Can I love them enough? Can I be the mom they deserve? How will they do in school? Will Zack’s teeth come around? Am I ready for this? Thoughts and questions were just swirling around in my mind. Then I remembered that God does not call us to anything for which He has not equipped us. I began focusing on His word and His great love for us, and I began to rest in Him and the fact that He through me will care for these little ones. That was a load off of my mind! Then I remembered all of my family and friends who are supporting me in this endeavor. These little ones are going to be SO LOVED and nurtured. I cannot wait until they meet all of you.

I am living for the day that I set them in babushka’s lap!!!!! Mom, I love you!!!!!! They are going to be the luckiest kids alive having you for a grandma!

Sorry for the length of the blog, but there is just so much to say!!!!!