Monday, March 31, 2008
Sunday, March 30, 2008
Another Day
Well, this morning we made the "long" trek from Palm Desert to North Orange County for church with a friend and her mom who is here from out of state. The church service was great! It was the contemporary service which I liked. I warmed up a little to the hymns to which drums were added. The drummer was awesome! I love a good drummer who can lay down a basic beat and lay it down hard. Well, I have a somewhat trained ear for this. Although, I've been told never to date a drummer, I'll just bet I end up with one. I just have a wild side.
The message was about who can save a soul. The answer was only the maker of all creation. Seems simple, but it was enlightening. What I loved about this service was that the time began with some heavy duty worship, then there was a short sermon, and a lot more worship at the end. It rocked! I think I have eased out of the boring stand, sit, stand, sit, hymnal type of service. The church was also packed which kind of just makes a person feel like they're in the right place.
Anyhow, most of the worship time, I spent with tears in my eyes! I am such an emotional soul. God speaks to me through music though, and I think He speaks loudest to me in that way. This is why I like the kidlets to listen to godly stuff instead of all of the other crud I enjoy. Why pass my bad habits on to them, and why waste moments when they could be learning more about God through music?
Anyhow, we enjoyed lunch after church, and it was just a nice time other than the fact that it was cold outside BURZZZZZZZZZZZY!
I often wonder how God can be so gracious to His children over and over and over and over. Then I am reminded of how very much I love my own, and He nudges me on the shoulder and reminds me that He loves me and them so much more than I could imagine. This is why he gives us these romantic moments to enjoy. Whether it be lunch with good friends or the sound of the wind whistling through the trees, these are tiny messages from God saying, "I love you" even when you feel unloveable.
Last night while at my friends' home, Sophia says to the pastor's wife, "Hey, Miss Bootylicious"!!! I could have crawled under the table! But, I howled instead! Some bad habits are just funny!
Zack has been a tad emotional lately, but as tenderhearted as ever. He has lots of questions and is a thinker. I have few answers, but always remind him that he is loved by so many people and by Jesus. He smiles contently. He is especially cuddly at night as he begins to doze off. But, both of my kids, sleep as they play - WILD! Sophia falls off of the bed nearly every night, and Zack always ends up sideways!
The message was about who can save a soul. The answer was only the maker of all creation. Seems simple, but it was enlightening. What I loved about this service was that the time began with some heavy duty worship, then there was a short sermon, and a lot more worship at the end. It rocked! I think I have eased out of the boring stand, sit, stand, sit, hymnal type of service. The church was also packed which kind of just makes a person feel like they're in the right place.
Anyhow, most of the worship time, I spent with tears in my eyes! I am such an emotional soul. God speaks to me through music though, and I think He speaks loudest to me in that way. This is why I like the kidlets to listen to godly stuff instead of all of the other crud I enjoy. Why pass my bad habits on to them, and why waste moments when they could be learning more about God through music?
Anyhow, we enjoyed lunch after church, and it was just a nice time other than the fact that it was cold outside BURZZZZZZZZZZZY!
I often wonder how God can be so gracious to His children over and over and over and over. Then I am reminded of how very much I love my own, and He nudges me on the shoulder and reminds me that He loves me and them so much more than I could imagine. This is why he gives us these romantic moments to enjoy. Whether it be lunch with good friends or the sound of the wind whistling through the trees, these are tiny messages from God saying, "I love you" even when you feel unloveable.
Last night while at my friends' home, Sophia says to the pastor's wife, "Hey, Miss Bootylicious"!!! I could have crawled under the table! But, I howled instead! Some bad habits are just funny!
Zack has been a tad emotional lately, but as tenderhearted as ever. He has lots of questions and is a thinker. I have few answers, but always remind him that he is loved by so many people and by Jesus. He smiles contently. He is especially cuddly at night as he begins to doze off. But, both of my kids, sleep as they play - WILD! Sophia falls off of the bed nearly every night, and Zack always ends up sideways!
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Quote for the Day
"Don't make any decisions until you hear Gods heartbeating love for you." - Tim Ekno
I am still pondering this thought! Amazingly, I got a call from some "old" friends this past week. They had been missionaries to Vietnam, Thailand, lived in Hawaii for a time, and now voila, they called to say they took a church in Palm Desert!
We took the long drive to the desert to spend the day with them. We enjoyed carne asada tacos and yummy homeaid brownies that Sophia made with Vanessa. It was great to spend time with Tim, Vanessa, Megan, and Joel. It was like a blast from my past.
It is always nice to talk with people who have the edge on God's grace and sufficiency. I had never thought about waiting for God's heart to beat love to me before making a decision! Now, I'm saying, "Show me the love"!
They had a short Bible study tonight and it happened to be on prayer. Strangely enough unbeknownst to them, I have had some struggles that have kept me pretty numb to praying. You know that feeling like you're not worthy or that you prayers are worthless hitting the ceiling and falling back to the ground. Well, tonight I heard that prayer often is more about listening and less about talking. What a darn relief because the whole talking to God thing is not happening for me right now. Perhaps, this is because He is waiting for me to listen!!!
My last thought is that life is full of ups and downs and certain things suck, without question. I believe what makes us or breaks us is how we respond. I pray I can foster good healthy responses to life's heartaches in my kids. In order for that to happen, I must model it. OH MY - so much work to do to raise little God followers!
I am still pondering this thought! Amazingly, I got a call from some "old" friends this past week. They had been missionaries to Vietnam, Thailand, lived in Hawaii for a time, and now voila, they called to say they took a church in Palm Desert!
We took the long drive to the desert to spend the day with them. We enjoyed carne asada tacos and yummy homeaid brownies that Sophia made with Vanessa. It was great to spend time with Tim, Vanessa, Megan, and Joel. It was like a blast from my past.
It is always nice to talk with people who have the edge on God's grace and sufficiency. I had never thought about waiting for God's heart to beat love to me before making a decision! Now, I'm saying, "Show me the love"!
They had a short Bible study tonight and it happened to be on prayer. Strangely enough unbeknownst to them, I have had some struggles that have kept me pretty numb to praying. You know that feeling like you're not worthy or that you prayers are worthless hitting the ceiling and falling back to the ground. Well, tonight I heard that prayer often is more about listening and less about talking. What a darn relief because the whole talking to God thing is not happening for me right now. Perhaps, this is because He is waiting for me to listen!!!
My last thought is that life is full of ups and downs and certain things suck, without question. I believe what makes us or breaks us is how we respond. I pray I can foster good healthy responses to life's heartaches in my kids. In order for that to happen, I must model it. OH MY - so much work to do to raise little God followers!
Friday, March 28, 2008
Life's Truly Special Pleasures
It's hard sometimes to focus on the things that are important in life, and at times, even hard to count your blessings, but often when I am in a pit, I find relief by listing life's little pleasures. I hope the kidlets can learn to do the same. I have been told that my kids will watch how I respond to life and follow suit. That is a HUGE responsibility!!!! So, I went down the list of things in which I find pleasure:
So, in turn, I ask those around me who love God and live for him day by day to pray a hedge around us.
I am still working all of this out in my mind and hopefully it will hit my heart at some point.
- Birds chirping early in the morning as I awake
- Hearing my beautiful kids breathing as they sleep
- Watching the kids laugh and play
- Little unexpected hugs and kisses
- Random "I love yous"
- Hearing Sophia say, "We need to pray"
- The smell of fresh mowed lawn
- Sunny skies
- Good books
- A nice car to travel in
- Interviews that go extremely well
- Friends who love at all times just because the Bible says so regardless of big or little mistakes
- Scripture at the right moment (not always keen on it, but it hits the right spot when least expected)
- Crisp air and the heat of the sun on my back
- Unconditional Love
- God's grace and provision of salvation to sinful mankind
- Friends who can speak the truth even when it HURTS
- Unexpected adrenaline rushes
So, in turn, I ask those around me who love God and live for him day by day to pray a hedge around us.
I am still working all of this out in my mind and hopefully it will hit my heart at some point.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
One Year
Yesterday marked one year since the judge gave me full and legal custody of Zack and Sophia. It seems like they have been home forever! It is hard to remember life without them in it, and it is hard to believe all that has changed in the last year. It has been a very windy road, but one that will lead us to the place we were meant to be of that I am certain.
The biggest change in both of them I would have to say has been the loss of anger. When they first came home, we experienced many occurences of anger. Whether it was Zack flipping someone off in frustration or Sophia clinching her fists and peeing wherever she sat or stood. We definitely saw relieving the need for that anger as a starting point.
Slowly but surely with a lot of love, structure, and discipline, they each began to let go of the anger. I believe that it was a survival mechanism and the more secure they felt, the more they let go of the anger and grabbed hold of the love by which they were surrounded. There is a life lesson to be learned in this, and this mama is taking note.
I can't help but also remember their little sayings as they learned English such as "you too much crazy"! They still call their feet foochies because while in Russia when we'd sniff their feet, we'd say FOOCHIE! They continue to have the connection to that word. Zack has a little accent, but Sophia's is completely gone.
Any who have been around them know they have become little prodders. If you start to eat too quickly, one will say, "We didn't pray." If someone asks them a question while their mouths are full, they will point to their mouth so as to say just a sec. They each have Type A in their personalities and will remind me to get my phone, keys and purse each time we leave the house. They also will remind me to lock the car as we walk away. On those tired mornings or nights when I want to fudge a little, they will remind me about teeth brushing! Sometimes it is crazy because they are keeping me in line (in a respectful way). I think they're going to be well suited for adulthood if this keeps up!
They both speak openly about the Pelican (Zack's orphanage) and the baby home (Sophia's home). They recount how we visited them and list the toys and candy we brought. Zack says, "I was shy". Sophia says, "Remember when Zack popped my BAAAloon"? They recall playing with balloons outside the hotel in Nizhny Novgorod on that crisp day. Zack recalls playing swords with Gina and scaring her to "death" as he giggled from his core. When they see Ring Pops in the store they remind me of how we took them one in Russia. And, they still go down the list of what they did not have there that they do have here.
I think it is important to nurture the memories of their past and of their coming home. It is part of who they are, and I'm sure that with years, their gratitude will grow as they understand fully the concept of what transpired.
Both kids are so lucky to have been loved by so many people this first year home. Their lives have overflowed with generosity, kindness, laughter, and thrills. For that, I am thankful. As we set out to begin this second year home, I wonder what God has in store for us. I wonder what's around the next bend. I choose to believe that it'll be something good. Something that will allow me to testify of God's love and amazing grace.
The biggest change in both of them I would have to say has been the loss of anger. When they first came home, we experienced many occurences of anger. Whether it was Zack flipping someone off in frustration or Sophia clinching her fists and peeing wherever she sat or stood. We definitely saw relieving the need for that anger as a starting point.
Slowly but surely with a lot of love, structure, and discipline, they each began to let go of the anger. I believe that it was a survival mechanism and the more secure they felt, the more they let go of the anger and grabbed hold of the love by which they were surrounded. There is a life lesson to be learned in this, and this mama is taking note.
I can't help but also remember their little sayings as they learned English such as "you too much crazy"! They still call their feet foochies because while in Russia when we'd sniff their feet, we'd say FOOCHIE! They continue to have the connection to that word. Zack has a little accent, but Sophia's is completely gone.
Any who have been around them know they have become little prodders. If you start to eat too quickly, one will say, "We didn't pray." If someone asks them a question while their mouths are full, they will point to their mouth so as to say just a sec. They each have Type A in their personalities and will remind me to get my phone, keys and purse each time we leave the house. They also will remind me to lock the car as we walk away. On those tired mornings or nights when I want to fudge a little, they will remind me about teeth brushing! Sometimes it is crazy because they are keeping me in line (in a respectful way). I think they're going to be well suited for adulthood if this keeps up!
They both speak openly about the Pelican (Zack's orphanage) and the baby home (Sophia's home). They recount how we visited them and list the toys and candy we brought. Zack says, "I was shy". Sophia says, "Remember when Zack popped my BAAAloon"? They recall playing with balloons outside the hotel in Nizhny Novgorod on that crisp day. Zack recalls playing swords with Gina and scaring her to "death" as he giggled from his core. When they see Ring Pops in the store they remind me of how we took them one in Russia. And, they still go down the list of what they did not have there that they do have here.
I think it is important to nurture the memories of their past and of their coming home. It is part of who they are, and I'm sure that with years, their gratitude will grow as they understand fully the concept of what transpired.
Both kids are so lucky to have been loved by so many people this first year home. Their lives have overflowed with generosity, kindness, laughter, and thrills. For that, I am thankful. As we set out to begin this second year home, I wonder what God has in store for us. I wonder what's around the next bend. I choose to believe that it'll be something good. Something that will allow me to testify of God's love and amazing grace.
Tuesday, March 25, 2008
New Tires and Spooky Nights!!!
Today was a busy day! We got four new tires on our car which was incredibly cool since the steel was beginning to show through! The kids were intrigued with the way they put the tires on. I was simply thrilled that I no longer had to worry about a blow out with two young ones in the car!
This evening, we went over to some friends' house for dinner and fellowship. The kids had a blast. I would post pictures, but I left my camera at their house - doh! It was strange tonight because Sophia was very spooked by the darkness and any little noise she heard caused her strife. I just kept telling her she was safe with all of us grown ups around. She was not convinced!
This is a new thing with her so I'll have to watch it closely to see if there's anything behind the fear. I think she just feels a wee bit unsettled as do we all. That'll get better really soon.
Sunday, we'll try a new church and hopefully hook into the Sunday school program as well as the midweek services for the kids. It's been a while since I've regularly attended church, and I have to admit, I am excited to go back but also a little nervous. I think God has some work to do on this heart of mine.
This evening, we went over to some friends' house for dinner and fellowship. The kids had a blast. I would post pictures, but I left my camera at their house - doh! It was strange tonight because Sophia was very spooked by the darkness and any little noise she heard caused her strife. I just kept telling her she was safe with all of us grown ups around. She was not convinced!
This is a new thing with her so I'll have to watch it closely to see if there's anything behind the fear. I think she just feels a wee bit unsettled as do we all. That'll get better really soon.
Sunday, we'll try a new church and hopefully hook into the Sunday school program as well as the midweek services for the kids. It's been a while since I've regularly attended church, and I have to admit, I am excited to go back but also a little nervous. I think God has some work to do on this heart of mine.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Happy Easter!
Sophia and Zack enjoyed their second Easter today! Sophia gathered about 50 chocolate filled eggs at church this morning and had eaten the candy from about 10 of them before lunch! She was bouncing off the ceiling!
Zack went on an Easter Egg hunt yesterday and gathered about 25 eggs of all shapes and sizes! The candy was callin' his name loudly! When Zack got up this morning, he climbed in to bed next to grandma, snuggled up close, and fell fast asleep!
At some point, I'll give a recap of the year thus far! Right now I don't have access to all of the pictures and video. Suffice it to say that these little ones have been an incredible blessing to our family! Both have blossomed beyond belief. Both speak fluent English, have great personalities and are thriving physically, mentally and spiritually.
Zack's favorite thing to do is play video games! He would choose to do this all day long if he could! But alas, he must also do some chores and eat dinner.
Sophia's favorite thing to do is talk! Anyone who knows her knows that she can talk your ear off!
She is loving and generous, but definitely needs a chill pill at times!
I thank God for these two little ones! I pray I can be the mom they need through the years. I pray I can help grow them into healthy God-loving adults. I realize to do that, I need to be well balanced in my own life always seeking growth. I am incredibly flawed, but by golly I'm loved and so are these kidlets!
Zack went on an Easter Egg hunt yesterday and gathered about 25 eggs of all shapes and sizes! The candy was callin' his name loudly! When Zack got up this morning, he climbed in to bed next to grandma, snuggled up close, and fell fast asleep!
At some point, I'll give a recap of the year thus far! Right now I don't have access to all of the pictures and video. Suffice it to say that these little ones have been an incredible blessing to our family! Both have blossomed beyond belief. Both speak fluent English, have great personalities and are thriving physically, mentally and spiritually.
Zack's favorite thing to do is play video games! He would choose to do this all day long if he could! But alas, he must also do some chores and eat dinner.
Sophia's favorite thing to do is talk! Anyone who knows her knows that she can talk your ear off!
She is loving and generous, but definitely needs a chill pill at times!
I thank God for these two little ones! I pray I can be the mom they need through the years. I pray I can help grow them into healthy God-loving adults. I realize to do that, I need to be well balanced in my own life always seeking growth. I am incredibly flawed, but by golly I'm loved and so are these kidlets!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Long Overdue Pics
Warts, Worms, and Black Eyes!!! All of the above have found Sophia recently! When she came home nearly a year ago, she had a wart on her nose which I had removed and now, voila another one appeared nearly overnight about a centimeter from where the old one was! The black eye is a result of Sophia's energy level around little dogs! She has learned not to mess with a dog when it is eating a treat! And, the worms are her new favorite! In a weak moment, I let her eat the entire bag - well a weak few moments!
Don't you just LOVE flip flop weather?
Care free days...
This is Auntie Gina's FAVORITE funny face that Sophia makes! So, as you can imagine, Sophia makes it often to get a good laugh! She just looked at this pic and said, "What's happened to my eyebrows"????? I am laughing out loud! You're gonna need some waxing immediately upon turning 12 my dear girl! :) Welcome to girlhood!
This is Liz, one of Sophia's favorite lunch partners!
I hope this blog finds you all doing well! I have to admit, living anonymously feels great sometimes!
Don't you just LOVE flip flop weather?
Care free days...
This is Auntie Gina's FAVORITE funny face that Sophia makes! So, as you can imagine, Sophia makes it often to get a good laugh! She just looked at this pic and said, "What's happened to my eyebrows"????? I am laughing out loud! You're gonna need some waxing immediately upon turning 12 my dear girl! :) Welcome to girlhood!
This is Liz, one of Sophia's favorite lunch partners!
Nothin' like good conversation over a nice ice water!
I hope this blog finds you all doing well! I have to admit, living anonymously feels great sometimes!
This week, Zack got smashed up by his gym teacher! They were playing indoor bowling and collided! He's a tough kid so he took it in stride. We ain't raisin' no sissies around here! Well, there's only room for one, and that's me!
School starts for Sophia and I on Monday. I'm looking forward to seeing how she does in the classroom and on the playground.
Wednesday, March 12, 2008
Boobs and Duct Tape
So last night at work I'm typing away and all of a sudden I feel a snap and then a very sharp pinch! I wiggle around a bit and realize that my underwire has snappeed in two!!! I rushed to the bathroom to try to pull the underwire out, but this darn Victoria's Secret bra is super well made so no luck there!
I was stuck (no pun intended) for a while with the pinch of a lifetime! As I glanced at the monitor, I noticed a roll of duct tape to the right. Now the mission was to abscond with the duct tape just long enough to tape the blasted underwire! I put the tape under my jacket and rushed back to the bathroom where I successfully taped the underwire.
I was happily back at work for a good hour when all of a sudden I turned to look at the title report and felt like my boob was being ripped in two! The duct tape had come off and attached my bra to my boob!!! So now I had a taped boob with the underwire poking it like a kabob! There wasn't much I could do!
I went to the bathroom to untape my boob, but it was only a matter of time until it was taped again! Everytime I turned it felt like I was losing a piece of me. I was able only to secure the underwire, but I wasn't able to figure out the duct tape situation! As I type, I feel the pain!!!!
At midnight, I rushed to my car and ripped off my bra like as fast as a woman of the night!!!!
Lessons learned:
Duct tape is NOT for boobs!
Underwires in Playtex bras are not nearly as secure as those in Victoria's Secret's bras!!!
Lose weight so boobs shrink and underwires stay in tact!!!!
Sorry no pictures for this post!
I was stuck (no pun intended) for a while with the pinch of a lifetime! As I glanced at the monitor, I noticed a roll of duct tape to the right. Now the mission was to abscond with the duct tape just long enough to tape the blasted underwire! I put the tape under my jacket and rushed back to the bathroom where I successfully taped the underwire.
I was happily back at work for a good hour when all of a sudden I turned to look at the title report and felt like my boob was being ripped in two! The duct tape had come off and attached my bra to my boob!!! So now I had a taped boob with the underwire poking it like a kabob! There wasn't much I could do!
I went to the bathroom to untape my boob, but it was only a matter of time until it was taped again! Everytime I turned it felt like I was losing a piece of me. I was able only to secure the underwire, but I wasn't able to figure out the duct tape situation! As I type, I feel the pain!!!!
At midnight, I rushed to my car and ripped off my bra like as fast as a woman of the night!!!!
Lessons learned:
Duct tape is NOT for boobs!
Underwires in Playtex bras are not nearly as secure as those in Victoria's Secret's bras!!!
Lose weight so boobs shrink and underwires stay in tact!!!!
Sorry no pictures for this post!
Sunday, March 02, 2008
A Day at Gram's House
Sophia and I spent the day at Gram's house today, and we had lots of fun with Auntie Victoria and baby Torie. Actually, yesterday when Sophia heard that we were meeting Gram and Victoroia somewhere, she began packing her overnight bag and told me she was sleeping with Gram! I hesitated because I miss her so much when she's gone, but I know it is good for Sophia to spend time with the family in meaningful ways. Plus, my mom is the best grandma I know. She literally plays with the grandkids and very quickly has them spellbound with a story or a song. I love that about her, and evidently so does Sophia!
Of course, while Sophia is there she also gets quality time with Auntie Victoria and Uncle Anthummeeee(Anthony). She loves hanging out in their room and being in the middle of the fun!
Here she is pushing Torie around in her walker.
And, her just about to get her pony tail pulled! Sophia said, "She almost pulled it out of my head, mom"!
A favorite pastime of Torie's is pulling her socks off!
There is NOTHING like the adoration of a grandma!
A short photo shoot for my sis whose camera has no battery:
Love that profile!
This is a face Torie makes often! My sis is not sure where it came from but if you sniff loudly, she'll make this face and a sniffing sound just like you! It is hilarious! So, we had to catch in on film so we can show her when she's old enough to be embarrassed!
THE FACE!
For posterity sake... She is very flexible - well, physically! :)
Of course, while Sophia is there she also gets quality time with Auntie Victoria and Uncle Anthummeeee(Anthony). She loves hanging out in their room and being in the middle of the fun!
Here she is pushing Torie around in her walker.
And, her just about to get her pony tail pulled! Sophia said, "She almost pulled it out of my head, mom"!
A favorite pastime of Torie's is pulling her socks off!
There is NOTHING like the adoration of a grandma!
A short photo shoot for my sis whose camera has no battery:
Love that profile!
This is a face Torie makes often! My sis is not sure where it came from but if you sniff loudly, she'll make this face and a sniffing sound just like you! It is hilarious! So, we had to catch in on film so we can show her when she's old enough to be embarrassed!
Hmmmm...not really sure where Torie learned to make that face!
THE FACE!
For posterity sake... She is very flexible - well, physically! :)
Some of Sophia's Favorite Things
Jumping...
Having mom give her crazy hairdos...
And, begging for even more crazy hairdos...
And, last but definitely not least, EATING!!!! Below are some of her favorites. She likes the soda, but that is mamas for sure. The last thing she needs is caffeine to fuel her already full throttle little life!!!!
Having mom give her crazy hairdos...
And, begging for even more crazy hairdos...
And, last but definitely not least, EATING!!!! Below are some of her favorites. She likes the soda, but that is mamas for sure. The last thing she needs is caffeine to fuel her already full throttle little life!!!!
Only 15 more days until I begin teaching!!! And, even more exciting, only 15 more days until Sophia goes to preschool!!!! YIPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! She is counting down the days!
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