I just found out that a very dear friend has breast cancer and underwent a total mastectomy. Boy, this hit me pretty hard. I have known her for 23 years but even more importantly I met her at a turning point in my life. I was 13! Boy that was a loooong time ago! I was a confused kid, and she was my English teacher. She taught me a lot more than English though! She mentored me through some tough times and kept me on the "high road" as she'd call it. I can remember telling her that I felt so stupid for having such strange feelings about things. She said, "No feelings are stupid." "You have the perfect feelings for your age." Now looking back on that I think what was the big deal?
I realize, however, that the big deal was that she cared for me and as I saw it she loved me unconditionally. I felt accepted. That was a pretty powerful feeling. She empowered me to become who I am today. She nurtured me to Christ.
Why do I blog about this when this is my adoption blog???? Well, that an easy answer. I made a promise to myself when I was about 14 years old. I determined in my heart that someday I'd let God use me to change a kid's life just like my English teacher had changed mine.
This news of her illness that she will overcome triumphantly brought this promise back to the forefront of my mind, and I am convinced even more that I am doing what God has called me to do!
PLEASE pray for my friend Gae Wofford and her family that God will give her strength through the next 4 weeks of chemo and through the healing process.
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Just another day or is it?
Well, not much has happened with the adoption paperwork today, however, I did call an organization called Kidsave. They put on a program called Miracle Weekends. I am thinking about signing up for 3 months of taking a foster child in each weekend. The kids are between 9 and 15 and are the cream of the crop from the foster care system. It is a system that allows the child to get some exposure to each host's friends and family in hopes that they find an adoptive home. There are just so many kids out there who need love. I have lots of love to give! Pray for me as I consider this committment. It will be at least 7 months until the Russian adoption goes through so I have time to help out other kids too!
Am I crazy or what?????
Am I crazy or what?????
Monday, June 26, 2006
Deana the half Latina Visits the INS
I am happy to announce that they did not keep me or ship me out! It was an interesting trip! This was the second time Andrew, Gina and I as the adults in the house had to have fingerprints done. Last time we were able to go to the Fullerton PD but this time the INS office was the only choice. This is part of the filing of the I-600A Form for international adoption.
The INS office was very well run and very clean! We were in and out of there in 35 minutes! Praise the Lord for another step out of the way. There is much more paperwork to come!
The INS office was very well run and very clean! We were in and out of there in 35 minutes! Praise the Lord for another step out of the way. There is much more paperwork to come!
Homestudy Visit #1
Well, I must say that I was a bit nervous about my first meeting with the social worker! I wasn't sure what she was going to be asking or needing from me. I did know that she needed a tour of my house and a basic understanding of how life is in my house on a day to day basis!
I had heard from another adoptive parent that my social worker, Annette was wonderful and would guide me through the process.
I had the evening planned out and sent my mom off to the movies with my brothers and Gina's boys. I figured that the fewer people there the better. I can remember telling them that I was most nervous because I don't really like to talk too much. Some of you may find that hard to believe!
We started with the tour of the house. She was very complimentary of the decorating and "use of color". I was thinking, "Wow, she knows her psychological because I am already at ease." She only asked two questions: Where will the baby sleep? and Do you have any cages in the house? Those questions were easy enough to answer. There is plenty of space for baby and no cages to be found.
After the tour, we sat down in the family room and began going through the paperwork I had provided via fax and mail. This included going over my medical history and my financial standing. It was a tad bit uncomfortable since this is pretty personal business, but Annette made me feel at ease.
She provided me with a ton of reading material and suggested web sites to visit. I was encouraged to create a list of questions for her that she can answer upon her return on July 3rd.
The session lasted about 3 hours and ended with my explanation of what has led me to adopt and my biggest fears about international adoption.
Annette assured me that I sounded like an excellent fit for an adoptive mother. She said most of my answers were similar to those of biological parents when they are preparing for the birth of a new child. This made me feel great!
Next session, we are going to get more into who I am, how I grew up, what and who influenced me most, etc...
As a side note, I was wondering during the entire session if Annette found my "the Lord this" and "the Lord that" to be kind of strange. She said at one point that I sounded like I had a strong faith and that I should lean on that through this process. I also shared that any judgmental feelings about the adoption have come from Christians at work. She said that it is indeed sad that Christians can at times turn good into bad. At that point, I felt like I had been a bad testimony for Christ. Then our session came to an end and Annette said, "Well, I would love to come back next week, but I am teaching Vacation Bible School! She smiled, and I smiled. I praise God to have met a fellow believer in the business of rescuing children! PTL
I had heard from another adoptive parent that my social worker, Annette was wonderful and would guide me through the process.
I had the evening planned out and sent my mom off to the movies with my brothers and Gina's boys. I figured that the fewer people there the better. I can remember telling them that I was most nervous because I don't really like to talk too much. Some of you may find that hard to believe!
We started with the tour of the house. She was very complimentary of the decorating and "use of color". I was thinking, "Wow, she knows her psychological because I am already at ease." She only asked two questions: Where will the baby sleep? and Do you have any cages in the house? Those questions were easy enough to answer. There is plenty of space for baby and no cages to be found.
After the tour, we sat down in the family room and began going through the paperwork I had provided via fax and mail. This included going over my medical history and my financial standing. It was a tad bit uncomfortable since this is pretty personal business, but Annette made me feel at ease.
She provided me with a ton of reading material and suggested web sites to visit. I was encouraged to create a list of questions for her that she can answer upon her return on July 3rd.
The session lasted about 3 hours and ended with my explanation of what has led me to adopt and my biggest fears about international adoption.
Annette assured me that I sounded like an excellent fit for an adoptive mother. She said most of my answers were similar to those of biological parents when they are preparing for the birth of a new child. This made me feel great!
Next session, we are going to get more into who I am, how I grew up, what and who influenced me most, etc...
As a side note, I was wondering during the entire session if Annette found my "the Lord this" and "the Lord that" to be kind of strange. She said at one point that I sounded like I had a strong faith and that I should lean on that through this process. I also shared that any judgmental feelings about the adoption have come from Christians at work. She said that it is indeed sad that Christians can at times turn good into bad. At that point, I felt like I had been a bad testimony for Christ. Then our session came to an end and Annette said, "Well, I would love to come back next week, but I am teaching Vacation Bible School! She smiled, and I smiled. I praise God to have met a fellow believer in the business of rescuing children! PTL
Monday, June 12, 2006
Why become a single mom?
Okay, here is another popular question that I would like to answer. Okay, first of all the obvious - God has called me to this, and I have no doubt in my mind or heart about that.
The second answer to that question is posed in a question to you:
Is a child better off with a single mother who can offer a stable nurturing environment including a Christian upbringing or growing up in an orphanage in a poverty stricken part of a country where he could likely end up on the streets by the age of 13 and never come to a knowledge of Christ?
I know the road ahead will be tough and at times seem insurmountable, but I also know that God does not call us to anything that He doesn't have confidence we can handle.
The second answer to that question is posed in a question to you:
Is a child better off with a single mother who can offer a stable nurturing environment including a Christian upbringing or growing up in an orphanage in a poverty stricken part of a country where he could likely end up on the streets by the age of 13 and never come to a knowledge of Christ?
I know the road ahead will be tough and at times seem insurmountable, but I also know that God does not call us to anything that He doesn't have confidence we can handle.
An answer to a common question
Why RUSSIA?????
This endeavor is not about being a mom. It is about bringing hope to a child that needs a springboard in life. With this in mind, I researched US adoptions and found that birth mothers choose the adoptive parents. There is a long list of couples waiting to adopt an American child. I did not see a need for me to add myself to that long list.
The other option for US adoption is to adopt from the foster system. This is a viable choice as well, but when comparing the American system with systems in foreign countries, I found that while it is not ideal for a child to grow up in the foster system, they have more hope of survival than a child in an orphanage in another country.
So, in short I researched countries:
China - I would have to stay there for an entire month!!! Not an option due to working for a living!
Haiti - I wasn't getting a response for the agency and orphanage! They wanted a substantial non-refundable payment up front.
Kazakastan (sp?) - I would have to stay there for 4-6 weeks.
Russia - I will travel there on two occasions both lasting about a 7 days. Money to the orphanage is due with the first trip and not before. This does not include agency fees. Siberian orphanages have many babies from young mothers who give them up due to poverty. Illness and drug and alcohol use are not major issues in this region.
I hope this answers the initial question of why Russia. :0) I do understand the curiosity!
This endeavor is not about being a mom. It is about bringing hope to a child that needs a springboard in life. With this in mind, I researched US adoptions and found that birth mothers choose the adoptive parents. There is a long list of couples waiting to adopt an American child. I did not see a need for me to add myself to that long list.
The other option for US adoption is to adopt from the foster system. This is a viable choice as well, but when comparing the American system with systems in foreign countries, I found that while it is not ideal for a child to grow up in the foster system, they have more hope of survival than a child in an orphanage in another country.
So, in short I researched countries:
China - I would have to stay there for an entire month!!! Not an option due to working for a living!
Haiti - I wasn't getting a response for the agency and orphanage! They wanted a substantial non-refundable payment up front.
Kazakastan (sp?) - I would have to stay there for 4-6 weeks.
Russia - I will travel there on two occasions both lasting about a 7 days. Money to the orphanage is due with the first trip and not before. This does not include agency fees. Siberian orphanages have many babies from young mothers who give them up due to poverty. Illness and drug and alcohol use are not major issues in this region.
I hope this answers the initial question of why Russia. :0) I do understand the curiosity!
Another Day
Well, in short, today is just another day. There was no movement in the process today. I am still waiting to hear from the social worker who will be completing my homestudy.
One EXCITING thing that happened today is that Wanda (Wandita Juanita Anita Chiquita Chihuaua Lopez Burke) and Gina surprised me with the "Russia with Love" bracelets! Be sure to get one if you don't have it already. Please remember to pray for the precious baby who awaits his trip home! I just keep wondering #1 is he born already and #2 is he being cared for properly? I can't wait to bring him home to meet everybody!
Right now I am watching "The Simple Life" where Paris Hilton and Nicole Riche swap places with housewives/mothers. Dude, I am learning what NOT to do! Gotta go and get some shut eye! TTFN
One EXCITING thing that happened today is that Wanda (Wandita Juanita Anita Chiquita Chihuaua Lopez Burke) and Gina surprised me with the "Russia with Love" bracelets! Be sure to get one if you don't have it already. Please remember to pray for the precious baby who awaits his trip home! I just keep wondering #1 is he born already and #2 is he being cared for properly? I can't wait to bring him home to meet everybody!
Right now I am watching "The Simple Life" where Paris Hilton and Nicole Riche swap places with housewives/mothers. Dude, I am learning what NOT to do! Gotta go and get some shut eye! TTFN
Friday, June 09, 2006
"Silver and Gold Have I None"
I can remember my mom singing that song as she stood in church next to me, "Silver and gold have I none but such as I have give I thee". I know my mom was singing with all of the faith in the world. She had given everything to follow Him after an empty life of 36 years. I watched her life change right before my eyes. She was transformed and has never gone back to the way she was. That was about thirty years ago, but the impact still lives on in me, her favorite daughter. Now, don't ask my sisters about the favorite part!
As I began to pray about the idea of adoption, the first obstacle that held me back was the money needed for such an endeavor. I found it strange that it could cost $30,000+ to bring a child home and support the child for a minimum of 18 years. I wondered how I could come up with the cash and figured it was impossible. That is until one day when I was driving home through Carbon Canyon whizzing quickly around the corners up and down the hills. My Mercedes was so fun to drive. I loved driving that car! The Lord tapped me on the shoulder that day and whispered (not audibly), "Deana, here is a chunk of the money you need to bring a child home." It took a couple of weeks to come to peace with this idea and to get in line with the plan that God had all along. So, I sold the car and God blessed me with a more baby friendly car with a small payment. I sold my car and the money is 100% going to the adoption.
God has also blessed me with employment at a great company with awesome benefits one of which is a 401k plan with employer matching. So, I will be borrowing a lump sum of money from myself via my 401k plan.
Adding to this my personal savings account, I am now 2/3 of the way to having the funds for the entire adoption.
I count it an honor to have the opportunity to invest the money that God has entrusted to me in a child who has little hope aside from people like you and me stepping up to help! Now, I don't think that all of us are called to go to such extremes, but I know that if we all pull together, we can change one little life.
I covet your prayers and ask that you might consider how God might lead you to help me raise the remaining $10,000. It's sounds like so much to raise, but I know that God works miracles!
As I began to pray about the idea of adoption, the first obstacle that held me back was the money needed for such an endeavor. I found it strange that it could cost $30,000+ to bring a child home and support the child for a minimum of 18 years. I wondered how I could come up with the cash and figured it was impossible. That is until one day when I was driving home through Carbon Canyon whizzing quickly around the corners up and down the hills. My Mercedes was so fun to drive. I loved driving that car! The Lord tapped me on the shoulder that day and whispered (not audibly), "Deana, here is a chunk of the money you need to bring a child home." It took a couple of weeks to come to peace with this idea and to get in line with the plan that God had all along. So, I sold the car and God blessed me with a more baby friendly car with a small payment. I sold my car and the money is 100% going to the adoption.
God has also blessed me with employment at a great company with awesome benefits one of which is a 401k plan with employer matching. So, I will be borrowing a lump sum of money from myself via my 401k plan.
Adding to this my personal savings account, I am now 2/3 of the way to having the funds for the entire adoption.
I count it an honor to have the opportunity to invest the money that God has entrusted to me in a child who has little hope aside from people like you and me stepping up to help! Now, I don't think that all of us are called to go to such extremes, but I know that if we all pull together, we can change one little life.
I covet your prayers and ask that you might consider how God might lead you to help me raise the remaining $10,000. It's sounds like so much to raise, but I know that God works miracles!
Step One of the Loooong Process
Okay, so here are a few of the nuts and bolts of the international adoption process. First of all you must choose an adoption agency who works in the country from which you would like to adopt. In my case, the choice was Faithful Adoptions. I did some research reviewed their license and asked for referrals. Once all checked out, I moved forward by sending in the application along with a check for $2,000. Yep, that was the first chunk of moolah out the door! Once this was sent, the agency sent me a long list of to dos.
The first step in the process is to complete a homestudy. What is in involed in the homestudy you ask? Well, I am in the middle of that process. I had to choose a local adoption agency to do the homestudy since Faithful Adoptions is headquartered in Oregon. This is typical, and the cost is the same no matter what agency you choose. The agency completing my homestudy is Across the World Adoptions referred to me by Faithful Adoptions. I sent them a $200 and then was sent the following list of paperwork to complete before proceeding further:
Personal Questionnaire
Financial Questionnaire (very detailed)
Medical Report Form (included HIV testing!)
Livescan forms
Medical Report Forms for any child living in the home
School/childcare Forms for any child living in the home
Indentity Verification Form
Guardian Form
Three Reference Forms sent to 3 friends or coworkers for completion
Pay balance of $2,000 for a total of $2,200 for the homestudy.
Once I finished all of this which was quite interesting, I was assigned a social worker - Annette Ashe.
I am now awaiting a phone call from Annette to set up one of two meetings at which she will get to know me and the people living in my home with me. From these meetings and more forms that I will complete, she will create about an 8 page "story" of who I am! This is the information that the orphanage will use to decide which baby is best for my home.
So, here I sit very eager to hear from Annette and to get this rolling!
The first step in the process is to complete a homestudy. What is in involed in the homestudy you ask? Well, I am in the middle of that process. I had to choose a local adoption agency to do the homestudy since Faithful Adoptions is headquartered in Oregon. This is typical, and the cost is the same no matter what agency you choose. The agency completing my homestudy is Across the World Adoptions referred to me by Faithful Adoptions. I sent them a $200 and then was sent the following list of paperwork to complete before proceeding further:
Personal Questionnaire
Financial Questionnaire (very detailed)
Medical Report Form (included HIV testing!)
Livescan forms
Medical Report Forms for any child living in the home
School/childcare Forms for any child living in the home
Indentity Verification Form
Guardian Form
Three Reference Forms sent to 3 friends or coworkers for completion
Pay balance of $2,000 for a total of $2,200 for the homestudy.
Once I finished all of this which was quite interesting, I was assigned a social worker - Annette Ashe.
I am now awaiting a phone call from Annette to set up one of two meetings at which she will get to know me and the people living in my home with me. From these meetings and more forms that I will complete, she will create about an 8 page "story" of who I am! This is the information that the orphanage will use to decide which baby is best for my home.
So, here I sit very eager to hear from Annette and to get this rolling!
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Just the Beginning
Well, first let me say that I am a little behind on this whole blogging thing! Okay, let's get the first topic out of the way! Why am I adopting and why from Russia? Well, the short answer is that God has been prodding my heart for the past few years nudging me to figure out a way to help children.
I envisioned taking in foster kids and basically having a revolving door. I would wonder how I could financially swing it! Each time, I'd come to the same conclusion - it was an impossible dream. I even looked into Chick Fil A's foster homes financed by Truett Cathy, but I noticed quickly that only married couples qualify. This was disappointing but absolutely understandable. So, I dated and waited, but never felt quite right about marrying someone who was more of a business partner than a soulmate. On a single income, however, I knew I could not live such a grand dream so I tabled it.
This past summer a friend of mine worked at a Sri Lankan orphanage and shared with me her experiences. Her stories touched my heart and moved me to do something to help. I began looking online at different orphanages and noticed that there is a GREAT need for people to be used as vessels in the lives of these children who have no hope of a future.
So, it took me about a year to finally put 2 and 2 together! God was showing me that the big house with the revolving door for foster kids was being peared down to my providing a home for 1 child whose life God wants to impact through me. At first, I looked at Haitian adoption because Sri Lanka does not adopt kids to Americans. After a few failed attempts at making contact with the Haitian orphanage and hesitance to send $7,500 in non-refundable funds to an "unknown" place, I began to search for other orphanages from which I could adopt a child. I was led through various sites and referrals to Faithful Adoptions. Faithful Adoptions introduced me to the orphanage in Siberia, Russia and the pieces just started fitting together. I did my research and contacted several people who worked with this orphanage and agency and have peace about adopting from and through them.
Stay tuned for more information regarding the area in Russia where I will travel to meet the precious baby that God will entrust to me for His purposes. And, of course, I will give you a glimpse of the nuts and bolts of an international adoption.
I envisioned taking in foster kids and basically having a revolving door. I would wonder how I could financially swing it! Each time, I'd come to the same conclusion - it was an impossible dream. I even looked into Chick Fil A's foster homes financed by Truett Cathy, but I noticed quickly that only married couples qualify. This was disappointing but absolutely understandable. So, I dated and waited, but never felt quite right about marrying someone who was more of a business partner than a soulmate. On a single income, however, I knew I could not live such a grand dream so I tabled it.
This past summer a friend of mine worked at a Sri Lankan orphanage and shared with me her experiences. Her stories touched my heart and moved me to do something to help. I began looking online at different orphanages and noticed that there is a GREAT need for people to be used as vessels in the lives of these children who have no hope of a future.
So, it took me about a year to finally put 2 and 2 together! God was showing me that the big house with the revolving door for foster kids was being peared down to my providing a home for 1 child whose life God wants to impact through me. At first, I looked at Haitian adoption because Sri Lanka does not adopt kids to Americans. After a few failed attempts at making contact with the Haitian orphanage and hesitance to send $7,500 in non-refundable funds to an "unknown" place, I began to search for other orphanages from which I could adopt a child. I was led through various sites and referrals to Faithful Adoptions. Faithful Adoptions introduced me to the orphanage in Siberia, Russia and the pieces just started fitting together. I did my research and contacted several people who worked with this orphanage and agency and have peace about adopting from and through them.
Stay tuned for more information regarding the area in Russia where I will travel to meet the precious baby that God will entrust to me for His purposes. And, of course, I will give you a glimpse of the nuts and bolts of an international adoption.
Welcome to Russia with Love!
This is where I will post the details of everything involved with my Russian adoption! Come back often.....
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